Ok another ff from me lol! The first update is short as my iPod Is dying but plz comment thanks! *flash back* Pete drives his car quickly, he wants to get to Julia's house and propose to her, it's dark and it's late... Julia is walking home in the cold, dark evening air, she wants to get home as it is cold and frosty. She begins to run and as she runs across just another road... *BANG!* She lies there, in the middle of the road, blood is pouring from her head. A man gets out his car to see what he has hit and sees julia... He holds her to his chest and sobs. Julia looks at him with pain in her eyes as she sees an engagement ring fall from his pocket, she closes her eyes and all goes black. The man strokes her cold, bloody forehead and puts the ring in his pocket. He slowly gets up as he sees an ambulance coming. The man was called Pete... *flash back over*
Just reading the first part of the story made me want to click back to Fan Fiction. Not saying it's bad, just that it lacks description. The surroundings, who he was, who Julia was, what they wore, almost everything. Just describing their actions isn't really enough. Write about their thoughts and stuff like that. Flashbacks are usually past tense, but seeing something new is refreshing... Yet slightly irritating. Half-decent start. :>