Brandon's POV Brandon looked up to see a girl with pale skin,pale blond hair with black red nd silver high lights,and ice blue eye's. That's the girl werelooking for,it has to be. At that moment she bumps into him and she ignored it loking away enverresed. As she started walking away he mentaly screamed no. So he graved her harm and she looked up with sad tormented eyes that could freez you'r soul in an instant.
Faith's POV Faith looked up to see a boy with pale white skin,pale green yellow-ish eyes... Um do you need something ?she asked trying to smile but failed to do so.. The boy said nothing just staired deep into her eyes. Emberresed she looked away and stood there.Oh how i want to crawl away into a tree and fall asleep hugging Sr. E.T.B . She could not belive it . She had neverin her life been emberresd . Why did this boy do so ? A complete scranger!! Whats going on she tought
Thought* Uh yes . He said in a voice thick like honey that mayd her trembel down to her toe's. Oh my god!! She thought. Whats with this feeling !?! It feels like a deep pain in my chest. It's like my heart is acheing for something ... Something from my past maybe? But why now ? Why is this happpening ??
What iDevice do you have? You just have to turn on auto-correct. I'm sure there's no word... emberessed?
Hey Chaoz! So here's some critique. I suggest you use descriptive words. You're using it already, that's good, but use also in the surroundings! Also, don't switch tenses so much! Stick to either past, or present Paragraphs in between dialogues! And punctuation too! (and just a tip, autocorrect helps a lot!)
~mixed~ Before Brandon could say anything else Alex barged in. Hi I'm Alex and this retard still holding your arm is Brandon. That's Jacob , Ivy ,and lily. Oh I'm sorry ,said Brandon and let go of Faith's arm. Yeah so we're kinda lost as you can see and we were wondering if you could help us. Oh well my names Faith .So we're where are you all going ? I have a good since of direction , Faith said smiling. That's when Brandon cut in . He didn't like how Alex was looking at faith . He looked like he was trying to burn a hole in her head , like he wanted to devoured her in one bite... We're going down to the lake .But as you can see we got lost. Brandon said giving her a half smile and running his hand through his hair. Oh ! I know we're that's at just follow me . She said walking away. As she started walking away Alex ran up to her to make conversation with her. So we're you from? Um well... I ... I don't really know .she whispered looking down . Your playing right ? How do you not know we're you are from the place you were born! Um...... I was adopted sooooo yeah ... Oh... I'm sorry to hear that but you see Brandon back there? Yeah ? Well he's adopted too. Oh really ? .......
~mixed~Continued She turned around to look at Brandon only to find him starring back at her frowning . Um does he hate me or something becouse I bumped into him?m. I can't think of anything else he might be mad about. I just met him and it seems like he all ready hates my guts.. But it's probably normal every one thinks I weird and a freak. Only a few people talk to me you ,my teachers,,my step-mom, and Sky. But my step-mom and teachers only talk to me becouse they have to . Oh I'm sorry am I talking to much ? No it's ok I tend to talk a lot some times. It's one of my bad habits I have, and no I don't think Brandon hates you. He just needs to get to know you a little more . If you wait like a week or two he will start to smile here and there and talk more. Oh ok it's just that for some reason I don't want him to hate me ... I care what he thinks. It's weird becouse I don't care what people think about me. I have never really cared whatvpeople say about me... Oh we're almost there just one more turn here and... Ta da we're here ! ...,, to be continued