Love Lives

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Meiqing (01), Aug 13, 2012.

  1. Lol thnx the 5 secs i tupe fast lol i dont get how people do this lol
     
  2. Mebumpdate-I want another update or this incredibly handsome devil dies.
     
  3. It's awesome
     
  4. It's not easy, once you get going it's hard to stop, the problem is usually getting going and getting going right
     
  5. Jake's pov
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    I'm out for a walk after school and I see a nice smoothie place. I stop in for a drink. What I wasn't expecting was to have a cute short girl with long dark brown hair with deep brown eyes spill my smoothie all over me.
     
  6. Ahhhh how do u type do fast Allie?!?! I can barely keep up
     
  7. Meiqing's pov
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    "I am soooo sorry. I was thinking too much and didn't see you standing there" I feel really bad cuz he's really cute and I believe it was his smoothie too. Today just isn't my day...

    Jake's pov
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    The girl say she's sorry and I'm thinking: I'm such a lucky guy today. I got to meet two really cute girls. Score!
     
  8. Allie's Pov
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    I feel so dry that after school i was still thirsty an my bff works at a smoothie place i walk ober there and i see a boy covered in a drink i run to them and grabs towels and look t him oh hey ur the boy i bumped into at school im sorry btw i start cleanin the floor while my long blonde hair gets smoothie in it
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    Jakes Pov
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    I think wow this smothie is cold i here the door open and the girl at school i look at her like its a dream while i hear her sane im the boy from at school i say yes and i see her clean the mess while her long blonde gets in the smoothie
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  9. Use quotation marks, check your spelling, make it longer, and put punctuation at the end of dialougue.
     
  10. I try then i cant
    see it all and all that
     
  11. Yay!! So many people im proud
     
  12. Because Jake's POV is one long run on sentence. Use commas and/or periods.
     
  13. And try not to repeat the same thing in both POVs, because then it just gets repetitive. Use LOTS of details. More details!!
     
  14. It's kind if confusing because it looks like run-on stuff and no actual dialogue.
     
  15. Capitalize your I's and spell out the words. Don't type ur, type your.