This is my first effort on a story on PIMD so plz be nice and it takes a dramatic turn so plz comment CHAPTER ONE: The Horror Of Love Keelie's POV 5:30 Keelie: -the alarm goes off and I wake up right away- is it time already time to see him jake is the one good thing he is my best friend what if he doesn't like me I was determined not to give up on telling him how I truley feel I thought him being my best friend since kindergarten was enough it was time to tell him I liked him mom: Keelie are you ready your going to miss your first day of highschool Keelie: yes mom I am ready -She comes down in a very nice sundress with flowers all over it and it was the cutest shade of light yellow wearing snowy white flats- Mom: well you look very nice Keelie what's the occasion Keelie: Mom everyone dresses up on the first day Mom: well go out and have fun freshman girl Keelie: MOM! -I run out in just enough time to catch the bus 7:00 Keelie: Finally I'm at school there he is oh look he is coming this way Jake: hi keels Keelie: Hi jake uhm I have something I need to tell you -thinking-*dont chicken out* I really like you a lot and I was hoping we could be more than best friends Jake: oh my god me too so are we dating Keelie:I guess -I grab his hand and pull him closer walking in the school- do you know that I am dating the hottest guy in 9th grade Jake: and I am dating the hottest girl Keelie: -he releases my hand and puts his arm around my neck Finally we were dating but we had no classes together other than lunch but that isn't really a period it where kids either make out in the halls or gossip Keelie: bye jake Jake: bye Keelie We go to our classes A half hour later Keelie: excuse me may I go to the restroom ma'am Mrs.gilkerston: yes you may Keelie Keelie: thank you -I walk out and see jake on the phone so I duck behind some lockers before he can see me- Jake: no dad...FINE! I will kill her tonight no I'm not Gunna kill Keelie tho...thanks...bye dad -hangs up and goes to class- Keelie: I'm dating a killer Please tell me what you think
And remember to use more detail, use quotation marks when people are speaking, use punctuation, and read it over for spelling mistakes.
This is another update for my loyal readers CHAPTER TWO-figuring it out That was it I had to figure it out was he a killer or could I still save him into falling into that pool of blood although I already know the answer. Keelie: how do I save him he may have not killed before the way he told his dad no though I just don't know what to do I finally went to the bathroom and figured it out I could check the news online Keelie: OH CRAP I'VE BEEN GONE FOR FIVE MINUTES! I ran to the class hoping praying the teacher didn't notice how long I was gone and I was already white as a ghost from hearing that conversation so I pulled it off like I was sick Keelie: I'm so sorry mis gilkerston I have to go home Mrs.gilkerston: and why is that Keelie: I don't feel well I just had to up chuck may I go to the office Mrs.G: yes please take your stuff with you just in case Keelie: thank you I was so worried that I was able to pull that off do I could go home I was so scared that my mom would make me go to sleep I thought his dad would come in and kill me mabey mom was working with him I couldn't count all the things running through my mind 3:45 I heard a knock on my door and I literally jumped out of my bed and ran to get a pocket knife and hid it in my cellphone holder on my pants if I were going to be killed I wasn't going down without a fight I let jake in not knowing what was going to happen Jake: hi babe I heard you got sick at school and I wanted to check on you and see how you were Keelie: oh I'm fine I guess it was just an upset stomach or something like that you know I can't explain how much I wanted to scream WHY ARE YOU A KILLER to him but I couldn't cuz he might kill me if I knew so I decided to just keep my mouth shut Jake: well I have to go home and take care of some chores dad gave me bye babe Keelie: bye babe I was in the presence of a killer and I had a knife and if he would have tried to kill me what would I have done with that wimpy thing so I decided I would have a steak knife always hidden in my bra drawer 4:00 I woke up an had a pair of skinny jeans and a really cute tanktop with a monster zip up hoodie over it and a pair of pink ankle high converse on and I decided since it was Saturday I was going to take a walk early so I started to walk and guess what I saw I just about passed out when I saw it the dead body of my old bestfriend Angela and I knew it was too late I was not going to be able to change his mind he was a killer I looked at the wounds on her body and they were cuts and stabs an I visualized it her death I saw it I saw jake with a large steak knife and he started to cut her he cut her arms to say worst nightmare he cut fml on her wrists he sliced her palm so deeply that she could and partially did bleed to death he started to cut her legs straight up and every 3 inches he jerked the knife in a zigzag on both legs till it went from the start of her short shorts to her ankles he cut her shirt and he carved death into her stomach and stabbed her stomach then he sliced her throat and she died then he had borrowed his dads truck and he had drove it here and threw it in the ditch by the bryers hoping to make it look natural he threw some leaves on her body and he left towards his house and I knew then that I had to call the police and have him stopped but I would have to be the one to stop him I hope you enjoyed that update It's probably going to be crazy or hard to understand in the next update and I do them by chapters CHAPTER THREE-deciciding factors My best girl friend from preschool