Cold to the touch

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Elysie, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. It's a good story, I love all the detail, except, it sometimes gets a little confusing on whoses who
     
  2. A little confusing but good bump!
     
  3. Up to this point the POVs are mostly as follows:

    Elysie: Amy
    Toxic: I'm not too sure myself tbh
    Royale: "Kevin" the killer.
    Adam: The drunken detective whose name I cannot recall.


    Hopefully that clears up about who is writing what:
     
  4. Thx not as confused anymore
     
  5. LOLOL! Sorry about that. The story basically peeks into the future then jumps back to the past to tell you about the different characters.
     
  6. Okay, I'll work on my update right now! I'm out of depression and ready to go!
     
  7. My neighbor Amy came over and introduced herself. I wasn't expecting such an occurrence. I was not in a good mood because I was out of beer, and was completely sober.

    The pain of being sober is tremendous, I'm so used to being intoxicated it's a new reality to me. I wish it was over.

    "What do you want?" I asked a little irritant. She seemed a little nervous, and I could tell I scared her just a little. I softened up a bit and repeated myself.

    "What is it, I mean?" I said nicer this time.

    "I'm sorry, I'm out of sugar and just wondering if I could borrow some..." She said quietly. I didn't say a word and closed the door. I walked to the kitchen where I had three bags of sugar in the cabinet.

    I lazily opened it and grabbed a bag. I walked over back to the door, opened it, and held the sugar out in front of me.

    "Here." I said trying to look a little happier.

    "Thanks...um...?" She trailed off, I realized I never told my name. "Jack." I said.

    "Oh, my brother's name!" She said laughing slightly.

    I looked at her blankly. And I finally spoke. "You should go." I said, and I closed the door.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sorry for shortness! I am not very free today.
     
  8.  it's great Adam! Thanks :)
     
  9. Elysie's turn! Let's keep the ball rolling 
     
  10. Or not. Waste of time? I think so.
     
  11. Failure ,_,