The Unimaginable.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *OHYOUHOAR (01), Jul 22, 2012.

  1. Entry #1:

    There's something at the corner of my room. At times, i can see it from the corner of my eye, but once i turn around to get a good look at it, its gone. Today, i saw it. I was sleeping soundly in my bed, the rain quietly tapping against the window next to me, when i heard a soft moan.

    It startled me. I sat up, and saw it in the corner of my room, next to my door. It was a blob of translucent white. There are beady, round, black objects sitting near the top of the blob. I'm assuming that those are its eyes.

    It keeps moaning, making it difficult for me to fall back asleep. I can feel its tiny eyes watching me, staring at me as i hide underneath my covers. Make it stop. Make it go away. Please.
     
  2. I think it's a nice start, but you should write a little more.
     
  3. And capitalize the I's. That just bothers me.
     
  4. Thank you . I'll keep that in mind. bah this is actually creeping me out lol.
     
  5.  It helps if you turn auto correct on.
     
  6.  autocorrect is my enemy! I'll turn it on when i'm writing 
     
  7. AMANDA THIS IS AWESOME.  Yeah, write more and capitalise 'I'. 
     
  8. Thank you! Lol I turned on autocorrect so it's all good lol
     
  9. I love this!! It's creepy though
     
  10. And I think you should add a little more detail, so we can clearly see a picture of what's happening.  Just some criticism… I'm trying to critique people's stories instead of bumping them
     
  11. @ Charlie: Thank you!! And I know lol I got scared when I was trying to sleep last night 

    @Angela: right! Thank you  i appreciate it.
     
  12. But I think this is going to turn out to be a great story
     
  13. Awesome story!
     
  14. Thank you! Oh Angela, I remember why it's not very detailed. Usually I'd detail my stories very well. These entries are journal entries! So only the very important things are detailed  sorry for not telling you before.
     
  15. Ohhhhhh… they're still really good though
     
  16. Entry #2

    When I woke up today, it was there. Sitting there in a puddle of white, it's two eyes staring at me hungrily. I tip toed around it as I walked out of my room. I still needed to go to work today, even if that THING is in my goddamn room.

    As I came back from work, I completely forgot about the blob, until it greeted me at the door. Right when I unlocked my front door, there it was, waiting for me. I looked at it, and had the urge to kick he thing away, but thought about what would happen if I did.

    Will it go away? Will it eat my shoe? Will it get bigger? I carefully nudged it with the toe of my shoe. Once it made contact with the blob, I instantly pulled back, and a trail of slimy ooze was caught onto my shoe. I shuddered and took a glance at the blob. Was it smiling?!
     
  17.  I find the blob such a cutie.
     
  18.  Do you know what the blobfish is? It's so cute!!! And it kind of reminds me of this blob…