I had this story on paper than i did it on here hope u like "we were left behind??"amy said "yes but,let's keep running ok!"I said "but.."she said "but what they left us what do u won't want to die do you!!!" "no" she said crying in her hands "I'm sorry but let's go " I said carrying her " go to bed " i said
...well...it's short, need longer, and separating the paragraphs would be good. I don't know the plot or the understanding that well, so I'll say I'm not sure, just write more.
Said. Is. Dead. I'm going to be crucially honest with you. Please don't take offense, I may be harsh, but it's the truth. ... You write like a fourth grader. Don't get put down or anything, I'm just saying. That, and you need more action in the story. I don't even know what's going on. Put effort into it and use 'you' instead of 'u'. Again, it isn't a Goddamn online chat where you can use emoticons, leet speak, and all that 'cool kid talk' without being stared at. Capitalization, and punctuation. Grammar as well. Those are three of the extremely crucial things you need in literature, the other being spelling. There. There's my criticism. Like I said, I'm not trying to put you down or anything. I'm being honest. :I
Ok I'm go to follow your Ideas thanks. Amy is 9,Angelina is the one who is talking and is 15. They got told that they will find there mom
1.) It's 'their' by the way. 2.) Auto correct. 3.) Capitalization and punctuation. 4.) What she said
1) Remember spaces after commas. 2) Just remember when and when not to use spaces in general. 3) Capitalization 4) Punctuation 5) What Goldialocks said