When I was a little girl, the age of 7, I watched my own parents get murdered right in front of my eyes. It wasn't by choice or chance, It was by force. I ran away thinking that this problem won't start chasing me, but I was wrong. As I ran away leaving my parents into a bloody mess, I stumbled upon someone, Mr. Chan. Mr. Chan was a man with mixed ethnicities. He wasn't all that nice of a guy, Mr. Chan. He decided to take custody of me and train me. Into what, you may ask. Well if I told you, you'd have to keep it a secret, okay? Well Mr. Chan trained me into an Assassin, a ruthless killer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know that was short..It was supposed to be that way. I've been multitasking recently on RPS, 3 stories, and looking for someone willing to do a collaboration with me. And this one sequel story I'm starting on is gonna be pretty LONG then the first one which was short. So what do you guys think so far?
Hey guys! EliManson here! Due to some reasons, I changed my name Well, I'm up for a collaboration with Emilya. So I'm sorry if my part isn't as great as hers But I do hope you enjoy our story! -EliManson -------- "Higher! Come on! Higher, Zarina! Show me that you're worth it! Higher!" My long jet black hair drenched in my sweat swift fastly as I reached the highest point of my kick. Mr. Chan tousled his black hair with grey on it and glared at me with his chinky brown eyes. "Ah!" I screamed in pain as I fell down the mat. We were in the basement which was the training room at the part of the mansion. It was dark but the sunlight passed through the window. I wiped my sweat and looked at him fiercely with my light crystal-like blue eyes. The atmosphere was tensing. His face only five inches away from mine, his deep brown eyes looking at mine in anger, "What are you?!" he said in his deep voice. "I'm..." I panted as my eyes set in determination, "I'm an assassin." He stood up and grabbed the boxing gloves from the oak table near the door. "You're a trainee, my dear. But you will be soon. Soon when you will beat me." He said as he put them on on his big rough hands. Mr. Chan is a tall muscular guy, he is in his late 40s but still stood strong. He's very cynical at time, and in fact very moody. The only times I can make him happy is when I do my job. What job...? My missions to kill certain people. My 18 year old body stood in perfection as I bent my knees and clenched my fist, I glared at him as if he was my enemy. Remembering the past... it made me feel much more powerful. "Don't worry child, we will find the people who killed your family. You," Mr. Chan caressed my face as he smirked, "my sweet child, will get that revenge." As I remembered Mr. Chan's words that time when he took me in I clenched my fist tighter, feeling the strength in my body. I ran towards him and did an uppercut, and then a lowercut, but it was all useless, I couldn't hit him. He's really good! I smirked. He has trained me for eleven years, yet I still can't hit my father, my trainer, my master. He went in for a punch and luckily I avoided it, I found an opening and I turned around and tripped him. He fell down as we laughed. "Very smart move, my child." He chuckled as he went back up again and wiped his sweat. "Thank you... father." I looked at him in an accomplishment. I smiled evilly and sighed in relief. Finally. I can start... I can start hunting down the people who killed them. I will let them see what they have done to my life. I will let them feel my wrath.
This is an interesting story idea. I can't comment much yet until I see how you both write more of the story, but I'll definitely be reading along.
Haha! Yours is better, Em. Who's gonna update next...? I'm already writing. I'll be back from school after four hours ciao! Thanks for the bumps.
My part is probably sucky..Eli's is better. My Part is awful! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I walked up and out of the training room aiming to reach the ice cold refrigerator before I pass out from tiredness. After a few minutes of trudging, I finally made my way to the fridge only to be greeted by the freezing kitchen floor. I couldn't take it anymore and shut my eyes. As I lay restless, from the lack of sleep, I hear Mr. Chan -Er- My dad, walking up the basement. I had to stand up. He couldn't see me like this, all weak and tired. I shot up immediately and open the refrigerator casually. He eyed me as if he suspected something. I took hold of the newly packed water bottles in the fridge, grabbed one, and made my way up the stairs and to my room. I chugged down the water and grabbed my laptop. I hesitantly opened it and turn it on. As it was loading, I took the time to shower and change. I turned my attention back to my computer and just search a few things. There wasn't really much for me to pay attention to, considering the fact that I've been home-schooled practically my whole life. My eyes shift up and down the whole way through. I read as all these kids have something to say about high school. I was jealous not because they had friends to talk to about it, but because they had the time to actually complain about high school. I wished I was them. I've gotta quit wishing for this and that when I know it's never gonna happen. I just have to suck it up and embrace what I am. An assassin. You'd think that when you're an assassin, you automatically seem gruesome. Wrong. Around my dad, I'd always have to keep up this double evil self. I've mastered it already, but sometimes I just get tired of it. I snuggle myself into the cozy warm blanket and close my laptop. A nice rest'll do. 10 minutes have passed since and I lay motionless, yet awake. The sound of nothing leaves me relieved. It's a comforting and deceiving sound. I lay there thinking if the sound of nothing is good or bad. This sound of nothingness is a good one. As I lay with thoughts running through my head, I hear my dad walking up the velvet carpeted stairs. As much as I want to fall asleep and ignore those devil eyes that bore through my soul, I couldn't. It's like I have no where to run when I'm under his radar. As I feel the doorknob move slightly to the right, I debated whether to shut my eyes or lay awake. I wasn't fast enough for I felt his presence on my door. "Tired?" He says. It's not those questions where it sounds like you're being interrogated, it's more of those obvious kinds. I nod quietly and he scoffs. "Well I have a mission for you." I mumble something that he wouldn't ask or hear. He just looks at me and I roll my eyes. "What is it?" "You'll have to go undercover as a Senior in High School. I need you to kill someone."
It isn't bad! I enjoy this story! But maybe you could try to better explain the main character's feelings, of her situation, how she feels, or even her relationship with Mr. Shan. I think it'd add a bit more depth to the character.