Again- this is a made up story and has nothing to do with my life ------------------------------------------- This past week has been absolutely crazy, all I can think about is Britney. Although I do have other problems this week to discuss. Not just about my sexuality, about my family. Lately my family has been fighting a lot over money issues. Our cell phone bill was too high and everything is so expensive. I wish I could help, I've put in applications everywhere. But if I want to get good grades I have to focus on school. It is hard enough to focus on school when I can't stop thinking about my sexuality. I thought that eating some pie would make me feel better but all it did was make me sick to my stomach. Jordan was being extra sweet this week and I could tell that he knew something was up. He took me out for a romantic dinner and even gave me a really expensive necklace. I also hung out with Britney a lot this week and accidentally almost kissed her, and then I remembered what was going on. I just wish everything was clear. In just a couple years I will be going to college but what will I be going as, a student with both parents? Or only one because they got divorced? Or will I go with a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Will I go with money to spare or will I have to work and work to be able to scrape by? I wish everything was so simple but it just seems that every week it gets harder and harder to understand my place in the world -Jamie