I guess i will update... even though no one will like it. ------------------------------------------------ Next Day Cody's POV *Sitting out in front of the school on a picnic table thinkin to himself*Man Treyson is crazy for trying to like Laney again.. But its his choice so whatever. *i was knocked out of my head by seeing the familiar cowboy boots of my sweet girl Bridgit. Her adorable curls bounced as she walked and her cheeks had their always slight peach color to them (that was natural because Bridgit doesnt wear makeup)* I got up slowly because she didnt see me.. I slowly stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. "Dont scream and come slowly and you wont get hurt.." i said in a low pitched slow voice. "HEY! Get off... Oh hi Cody. You need to not scare me like that anymore!" she said as she tried struggling out of my arms. "Goodmorning baby" i whispered in her tiny ear as i laid a soft kiss on her pink cheek. She relaxed and leaned into my kiss and blushed like crazy. "You know i love it when you blush. It adds extra cuteness to your already sweet face." She blushed even more and turned in my arms and buried her tiny face in my chest. I kissed her on the top of her head. And whispered, "i will nevet let anyone hurt you."
Sorry theres one thing that really bothers me. How in the beginning you described your characters. I'm sorry but that is just so wrong.
Adam ? Seriously . Come on, i know your trying to be nice . But not everyone is as good and amazing at writing as you are , maybe she was doing it for fun ! Telling her its "boring" and "poorly written" isnt advice, its hate . So please give advice or leave the comments to yourself . Shes doing her best . Im a big fan of yours , so dont take this in offense . Thanks ! Keep writting if you love it <3 -Sami .
Yeah some people are just natural writers and there stories are already good. Others just need experience! You'll be fine. Don't worry. The beginning is always the hardest!
Don't give up I love it. And other people love it too just take other peoples advise and you can chose whether or not you want to listen to it or not. Don't give up though you are getting better at writing each time to update your really doing a great jobs for your first time
Then you should keep going. if you don't like criticism then just don't read their criticism, I like that your writing for fun
I guess ill keep going with the story.. ------------------------------------------------ Laney's POV "Where is Bridgit??" i whispered in an irritated voice. I walked to the lobby to find Bridgit with Cody out by the picnic tables.. "Is she crying?..." Just as i started to head in their direction i felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to find Treyson looking deep into my eyes now that i turned to him. Oh his eyes were so blue.. "Hey Laney... would you come with me? Please.." he whispered longingly. "Uh sure." "Ok good." he took ahold of my small hand in his strong yet gentle hand and started heading towards the locker rooms.. "Uh Trey... Why are we going to the locker rooms.." i was uneasy.. i tensed my hand. Treyson's POV I felt her hand go tense and i stopped and turned to her and looked deep into her gorgeous blue eyes.. A flash of fear flickered across them. "Laney trust me please. I may have done some bad things before.. but i have changed. Yeah im a heart breaker and ive hurt you before, and im hard to love but i promise i wont do anything like i have before. I promise. Please just give me another chance.." his eyes were glistening at the corners with the beginnings of tears.