Laney- 5'6", light tan skin, long dirty blond hair with natural highlights, murky blue eyes, loves to laugh, kind of shy, plays basketball volleyball and is on the spirit squad team. Treyson- 6'4", tan skin, blond hair, bright blue eyes, muscular, popular guy, very outgoing, very handsome, plays football and basketball Cody- Treyson's best friend, 6'2", dark dark brown hair, brown almost black eyes, tan, emerald green eyes, very sweet, plays football. Bridgit- Laney's best friend, 5'3", long curly brown hair, brown eyes, fair skinned, very very shy, very sweet, really nice, plays basketball. Kelsea- popular girl, 5'5", shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, fair skinned, thinks shes the best at everything, has her little group that does everything for her, snooty, plays volleyball and basketball. Those are the Main Characters. I hope you will like my story!
Laney's POV *thinking to herself coming out of volleyball practice* i hate volleyball im gonna quit next year. *looks up and sees Treyson and Cody walking her way* oh Treyson is soo cute.. I wish he would notice me. "Hey Laney" Treyson says with a wink. Oh! Hey Trey! *blushes and looks at the ground and keeps walking*
Yea I think you should. You didn't really put enough for people to know whether you should so you should write more so people will know whether or no they will like it.
Treyson's POV Dang man practice was awesome! That pass to me was killer! *high fives Cody* Thanks man says Cody. They push through the doors of their highschool and head to the locker rooms. Hey Trey, isnt that the girl who you were hitting on earlier this year? Cody asks. Treyson looks over and sees beautiful Laney. He automatically blushes. Cody scruntinizes Treyson's face, Yes it is man thats Laney isnt it? Yeah it is Cody, shes so beautiful and she doesnt know it. They start to get closer. Hey Laney! Treyson says. Laney looks up from the ground, blushes and says, Oh! Hey Trey! Thrn looks back at the ground. *treyson thinks to himself* oh i wish she knew how beautiful she really is... ------------------------------------------------ Hows that??
I forgot to put ages with the people!! Laney, Bridgit, and Kelsea are all 16 and sophmores. Treyson and Cody are 17 and juniors!
It's good but one thing you hold put " " these I front of when people are speaking and at the end but other than that I think it's pretty good so far
Laney's POV "Oh my gosh! He said hey to me and winked!!" Laney excitedly says to herself. She practically floated to her locker until she saw her... Kelsea. That girl flirted with every guy in this school.. even though she had a boyfriend named Rylan who was a senior. She kept almost every guy on a leash so when she broke up with Rylan after his graduation she would only have to say one word for her "dogs" to come running. "Ugh. She is b****." Laney complained as she gathered her books from her locker and stuffed them in her bag. Kelsea was flirting with Colton right now. Colton was pretty cute with light brown hair and green eyes and a tall muscular body. But he had a girlfriend already.. and i didnt want to have to tell Kiffany thr bad news.. Kiffany is a tanned skinned girl with super dark brown hair and bright sparkling brown eyes. Shes super sweet and i didnt want to break her heart..
Bump, make sure you add " " and put it into paragraphs, its easier to read and makes it look longer than it really is . Also add more detail but great story, bump
I'm sorry, but this is so cliche, and honestly very badly written and boring. It needs very much improvement.