This is my first story I've written to post anywhere.. Your comments would be appreciated -Emmys POV- The car ride was painfully slow, I just wanted to get to Gemmas party "You turned to wrong way.." I smirked at my mums hopelessness "Shush, I'm taking the 'scenic route'" "Does that usually involve a U-turn?" "Uh, yes! I'll see you later Emmy" She cooed as I stepped out the car, looking at the huge group of twenty people "Freaking heck, I'm going to be the only one here from a public school" I nervously run my hand through my short choppy hair, stepping towards the group, searching for the familiar face I hoped I'd see straight away. "EMMY! " Gemma screamed as she slammed into me "Yay you're here you're here you're here!" "Haha yeah Gems, why wouldn't I be?" I smirk and wrap her in a hug. "Guys this is Emmy" Gemma introduces a bunch of people I don't know, I wave and smile out of pure awkwardness For about ten minutes I stood awkwardly, sipping my drink, when He rocked up. I smiled from my cup and waved at Brandon. He walks over to me quietly, looking me up and down. "Hey Emmy, you've cut your hair since I last saw you?" He says with that perfectly balanced voice. I practically melted. "Ha yeah, you're taller than me still, no surprise though" I laughed awkwardly, looking up, cause, I'll admit it, I'm short for 16. I stand at 4'8" automatically making me 'cute' and I hated the fact my head was level with everyone's chests
Bump. Give description, and more suspense and action leading up to some point. Also paragraphs before dialogues and punctuation. Otherwise it's good.
-Brandons POV- I grinned at the huge group of girls out the front of the house, parking my car quickly and walking up the driveway. "Hey Bren, how ya doing?" a seductive voice said behind me. I turned and hugged Mari quickly and walked inside, seeing a short girl, with flaming red hair. I smiled and walked towards her as she waved at me. God she looks different, she cut her waist-length bundle of curls down, having it just below her earlobes. I smiled and ruffled her hair, seeing her fringe fall in front of her eyes, she'd colored it blue, I could see it easily. We talked for ages, until Gemma gathered everyone around and announced the lamest idea ever... "LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" she shrieked. "Oh come on really?" The moans were clearly heard by Gemma, as she gave everyone a death stare. I laughed and settled down, watching everyone follow my lead. Gemma asked everyone the usual 'truth or dare'... Everyone said truth, getting awkward questions like 'Would you kiss the person to your left if they let you?' "Dare" I looked at Emmy, seeing her smile hugely, being the first to choose dare.
-Emmys POV- I felt everyone stare at me, their eyes seemed to try and read my face, as if to expose a hidden fear. I look at Brandon and see him stare, shaking his head with a smile, making me even more determined to do any dare. "Emmy, your dare is to go next door and ask if they have any alcohol," Gemma grinned evilly "And you're forfeit is to kiss the next person to talk to you." I heard a few sharp intakes of breath, some murmurs "I guess I'll..." What's she going to choose?
-Emmys POV- Instead of actually putting my response into words, I got up and skipped out the front, knowing everyone would follow, I checked the time 10:48 I smiled as Brandon walked up to me and took my hand, grinning like a fool "I'll go with her to make sure she does it guys" he smirks and walks with me in tow, still holding my hand ever so softly. I could feel myself blushing, hoping he wouldn't notice in the dark. We walked up to the house, seeing lights on, I walked up and knocked on the door, holding my breath... No one answered, but Brandon mouthed the words 'Fake it' I smiled and acted like I was asking for alcohol, sounding disappointed as I walked away
Haha thanks, I'm writing it while babysitting so the kids are giving me ideas, some are great, and some are about mutant dinosaurs