Dark of day

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by VanillaSweet, Jun 26, 2012.

  1. Prologue

    I walked faster, brushing my blonde hair back as i look behind me, seeing if the man was still following me.

    My heart skips a beat as i see him, closer than he was before,
    His black hair shining in the bright moon.

    I turn a corner and find myself trapped, i escape further down the alley i was in until i reached the wall.

    I hide behind a dumpster as i hear footsteps echoing, or was it my heart?

    "Here girly, girly!" the man called, laughing.
    I close my eyes and feel a shadow fall over me.

    Rough hands grabbed my shirt and threw me from my hiding place.
    I skid a good couple feet, ripping my clothes.

    The guy turned me over and smiled at
    Me, showing perfect, white teeth.
    A tear trickled down the side of my face.

    The guy leaned close to me and whispered in my ear. "Gotcha!"
     
  2. You should like write more cause that's awesome.
     
  3. This is awesome! Update soonish?
     
  4. I don't know how to judge it....to short
     
  5.  thats usually how a prologue is
     
  6. Chapter 1

    My fingers skim along the keyboards, my eyes darting across the computer screen. Riiing!

    Damn! I think, hearing the school bell.
    I proof-read my report and quickly hit print, running to the printer.

    "come on, come on!" i mumble, seeing my due report slowly being created.

    As soon as it was done i grab it and turn off the computer, running out of the school library.

    Im late! Im late! I keep screaming in my head, running to english class.

    I burst inside the room and ackwardly look around. There was nobody exept the teacher and a woman.

    "uh, sorry. Um, where is everyone?" i ask, nervously twirling my brown ponytail.

    "oh! Amy, i'd like you to meet miss Gwene." my teacher said, his blue eyes sparkiling.

    Miss Gwene offers me her hand and i shake it politely, her green eyes peircing into me.

    She smiles with red lips, showing perfect, white teeth. "It's a pleasure to meet you finally." she greets and releases my hand.

    I look at Mr Dunn, my teacher and silently passes him my report.
    He chuckles and takes it, leaving it on his desk.

    "Now, i'd like to discuss something important with you." miss Gwene says, passing me a form.

    I take it and read it, and she explains.
    "You are chosen, by some very poweful people"

    I raise an eyebrow, passing the form back to her. She smiles, "We choose different girls, of all ages, to do some tests." she says.

    She then takes out a checkbook, "Now, im about to make you an offer. Name your price." she says. She smiles "But believe me, it will change your life."
     
  7. I shuffle uncertainly and Miss Gwene chuckles, "I'm not pressuring you, but i'd do anything to change your mind." she says.

    I eye the checkbook, my family would be more functional with money, i think and look miss Gwene straight in the eye.

    "i'll go with you, just write the check for nine hundred thousand dollars." i say and she nods, writing the check without hesitation.

    She smiles at me, "you made a good desicion." she praised, handing me the check. "this better not bounce." i warn, looking for any missed spots.
    "Never" she said, leading me out of the class, leaving the teacher behind.

    We head out of the school, the bright friday sun shining.
    it was weird seeing the campus so empty, since eveyone was still in class.

    "hey, does the school know im absent?" i ask, panicked.
    "yes, and we covered it with your parents as well." Miss Gwene confirmed, stopping us at a limo.

    "now, go home and pack a big bag of your clothes and things, you could be staying months." she says and i gulp. Months?

    I feel panic rising inside me and i force it down. I take a deep breath and get inside the gorgeos limo, dark in the beautiful summers day.
     
  8. I like it. It's good. But just correct a few grammar errors like i it should be I
     I know that's ridiculous but it'll make you look better 
     
  9. Bumpthis is so awesome