.This is the story of how I died .It was stormy it never rains here. that is when I knew something was wrong, very wrong. I ignored the feeling and continued walking home, I turned a corner into an alley. I thought I saw something in the corner of my eye, "it's nothing"I tell myself. I see something else move. I pull my hood up on my hoodie and jog home. When I get there I jiggle the lock with my key the door finally opens. I sigh and lay on my couch I take a nap. I wake up to the breaking news jingle of the news channel. I am shocked about what it says next. Guys this is my first fanfic please no hate
I know I say this SOOOO MUCH!! But GRAMMAR! It makes you look good! So correct the grammar. Make the plot go smoother. And re-read before you post. That way if you find a mistake you can fix it. If you want me to read stuff before you post, PM me and I'll be happy to help.
Following on what ApplePie said, oh my lord. I'm sorry, but I could barely read this. 1. It's really really really short. You NEED to make your updates longer. I can't stand short updates. My silly pet peeve. 2. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. My lord, these are in the top 2 most important aspects of a story, accompanied by elaboration. PLEASE proofread your work, or get family, friends, or fellow PIMD players to read over it. 3. ELABORATION. Probably the most important. By elaborating, your updates are guaranteed to be 3x longer than what you just wrote, depending on how well you go into detail. You NEED to describe the characters. I have absolutely no clue what this person looks like. I don't even known if it's a boy or a girl Please take our advice. It will make your story much more enjoyable to everyone. And for god's sakes, use correct grammar. I can barely read what you wrote. If I come out harsh, I'm sorry. Just trying to help.