Hanks POV I pushed the door to the club open. As soon as I stepped through, I could tell it would be a wild night. Every chick I saw had skin tight clothes, and stilettos on. I figured I would score big tonight, until I saw something. She was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. Here tight black mini dress complimented her figure perfectly, and her lips were deep red, like a rose. Her long blond luscious hair went just past her shoulders, and was bouncing around as she danced. Her heels were about six inches, and she danced perfectly in them. "Crap," I muttered under my breath. A girl like that would never go for me. Sure I could pick up a few chicks, but not like her. She looked like a goddess. I saw here coming my way, and I wondered if I had been staring. She was getting closer to me and I panicked, so I made a beeline for the mens room. I just stood there for a couple minutes, I fixed my hair, and I went to find the woman. I saw her sitting at the bar, so I sat next to her. "Where did you go, mystery man," she said teasingly. She took out her purse and applied more lipstick to already perfect lips. "I...uh..I," I started nervously. "I had to go...somewhere," "Oh, I see," she said so quietly, it was almost like a whisper. "Drinks on me, what do you want?" she asked. I must have smiled, because she smiled back at me. "How would you like to come back to my house, for a little while?" she asked. Mission accomplished. Ok so this is my new story, and I think it's one of my best. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave criticism on how I can make my story better!!!!!! Suggestions are greatly appreciated!
Ok I honestly think its really good MTV only criticism would be make things go a little slower and you could make her sound like less of a slut
Ya I know but prostitutes could be anyone from a skanky stereotypical slut to your work colleagues maybe go for the less obvious prostitute if you want that would be interesting
I don't think she's that sl utty, I like the way she acts, it's like a perfect mix. I like it!! Keep writing!
Cherry. Stop bypassing. You'll get the story locked. And I think it can be agreed prostitutes can be slutty on a scale of some sort. I mean, come on… they're prostitutes.