"Ugh!" I exclaimed as I laid my fist down on the table with force, making the table cringe beneath me as the legs got subtly weaker from the impact. I've been working on this case for a year. Rapid murders, and even some other crimes I don't even want to talk about. The person, is even violating children. I've tried to find this person for so long. But I keep coming up short. Whenever I think I've almost got it, it's gone from my reach. "Max, you really got to get yourself some rest." My boss Sheila said cracking open my office door. "You've been at this for far too long, and you're losing sleep." "I'm sorry Sheila. But I have to figure this out! I can't go without solving this!" I said, not angrily, but more with a pleading tone. "Get some rest. That's an order." She always cared enough to do stuff like this. If only she knew I loved her more than anything. But with this case, I don't have time for a love intrigue. "Fine." I said slightly irritant. I walked through the dark station, and slipped on my black, leather trenchcoat. I walked out into the pouring rain and did the awkward jog when you're trying to go faster to get out of the rain until I reached my vehicle. I got in and closed my car door, turning the key in my ignition as I started to pull out of the parking lot. I stopped at a gas station, and entered to get something to drink. "Here is all I need." I said, handing my items to the cashier. I got some beer and some snacks. I needed something to ease my thoughts. "That'll be $18.06." He said in a rude sort of tone. After putting the bag in the car, I drove off to my house. I went inside my dreary house, and turned on my TV, not bothering with the light. And grabbing a beer I just bought. I sat down on my couch, exhaling a sigh of relief as I plummeted into the soft leather. Moments later I fell asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No, it's not Max Payne... It's off my friend Max, who used to be my good friend until I moved away. Anyway, tell me your thoughts!
"Hmmm." I exhaled the words as I stretched. Waking up on a good sleep is not usual for me. Lucky for me, my couch doesn't soak, because I left my wet jacket on. I felt so fatigued, and my dismal house was making it that much worse. My groggy eyes struggling to stay open under the brutal sun peering into my cracked shades. Walking to my kitchen, on my carpet that I've been too lazy to get the stains out of, I made myself some eggs. I put them in a bowl I got out of my small, grey dishwasher, and couldn't find a spoon, so I ate with my hands. Washing my hands thoroughly when I was done, I put my bowl in the shiny, silver sink. Probably the only nice thing in my house. My cellphone began to ring, so I reached in my pocket and grabbed almost dropping it. "Hello?" I answered in a fatigued tone. "Max, get here now. There is something I have to show you. 401 Ash Street. Now, Max!" She hung up before I could reply. I grabbed my car keys from my jacket, and ran out the door. My black boots making a loud sound every time I stepped onto the hard concrete. I opened my car door, and got in, hitting my head on my way in. I rubbed my head for a few seconds and started the car, and drove to the address. I hopped out to see yellow crime-scene tape over a yellow painted, but chipped house. It was small, with maybe 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and the usual layout. "What happened?" I asked in a serious tone. "Follow me." My boss Sheila said putting her pen she was just writing with in her shirt pocket. Her hair was not in a ponytail like usual. Her long, brown hair was flying freely as she walked casually, as I followed. She stopped at a window. "The first fingerprints they've left!" She said pointing them out on the cracked, dusty window. "They're different..." I said drifting off as I studied them. "What?" She asked curiously. "They're two different sets. There is multiple people." "Interesting." She said trying to follow along. "At least two. Where is the victim?" I asked in a slightly urgent tone. Without a word, she led me to the bathroom. It was small, white, with tiling that was dirty with dried blood. The body was gruesome, with a knife stuck in it's knee, and a gunshot to the chest. "Pretty gruesome, eh?" She said in her New York accent. "Yeah. Have they identified the body?" "No. We weren't supposed to touch anything until you got here." "Give me some gloves." I said holding my hand out. She gave me a pair of yellow rubber gloves. I reached in his pocket and found his wallet, it had no money, and no ID. The murderers must've took it to make my job harder. "Sheila! I need a positive ID on the victim. They took his ID card. They're smart, but not smart enough." I said walking out. I got into my car, as she walked up to my door. I cracked open the window for her to talk. "Max, why are you leaving? There is more evidence." She said pleading. "I'll come back. But there is nothing I can do right now." I said in a depressive tone. "Max, I want you to meet me for coffee tomorrow." She said in more of a command than a question. "Why?" I asked curiously. "Because Max! Just meet me!" She said before walking off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What do you think is going to happen? Hint: She's not gonna talk about how she loves him or anything like that.
I drove until I reached the local diner. It was 5:30 and I was hungry after skipping lunch. I exited my car, shutting the door. Hearing cars drive down the highway as I swung open the diner door, hearing the bell ring. I walked up to the counter and sat down on one of the bar stools. Clasping my hands together, I waited for the waitress. I was listening to the conversations, divulged in my own thought when a voice came behind me. "Well if it isn't Detective Max Worthington!" A high-female voice said in a sort of acclamation, but at the same time sarcastic. "What? Who are you?" I asked, baffled as to how she knew who I was. "I'm Lisa, Lisa Taylor." She said sweetly. "I'm the waitress, heard all about you from my sister Sheila." She has a sister? "I see. What else does she say about me?" My curiosity was now skyrocketing. "She says you're a freaking genius! She says you are the best detective there is! I also heard you two are having coffee tomorrow." She exclaims. "Something like that." I say dismissively. "Ha, well, what do you want to order? I have other customers you know!" She sounds a bit frivolous, but I can tell she's serious. "I'll just have a sweet tea, with a hamburger." I said. "Simple." She says as she walks away. In about five minutes she brought me my food, and I ate silently. In about ten minutes, she came and sat on the bar stool next to me. I looked at her with a little hamburger still in my mouth. Her hair was blonde, not like Sheila's. She was sort of tan, but not too tan. She had sort of an innocent look. She was not that pretty, but she wasn't hideous. "So listen," She whispered. "that case you've been working on, I know someone who has been kind of suspicious. I know it's stupid and all, but he's really odd. He stays in his house all the time, and has this weird insignia cut into his forehead." She says trying to stay quiet about it. "I'll check it out." I say, actually intending to check into it. "Thank you so much!" She says as she scurries off. I finished my dinner, and walked out of the lightly colored, but still melancholy diner. As I got in my car, I turned the ignition, and drove off to my house. I completely forgot to ask his name. But he must be a neighbor or something, and I know where Sheila lives. Something about this whole thing isn't right. I was driving quite aggressively as I arrived home. I walked in and put my coat up. Plummeting to the couch once again, and going into deep thought. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Feedback please! I worked hard on this story.
Ok well I think it's interesting you just haven't got me hooked yet the plot looks good though. Bump!
About the shower thing... Yes, he does. Ha I was gonna make that a joke in the next update. I did that on purpose.