Random Jokes #1

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Captain-Jack-Sparrow3, May 30, 2012.

  1. I thought I would humor you guys since I am back, so I'll be searching the Internet for some funny appropriate jokes. I will do this, the QOTD, and random mind-boggling riddles. :)

    So, this random guy asked Arnold Shwartzenegger if he was ever going to upgrade to Windows 7..
    He replied, "I still love Vista, baby!"

    What do you call a midget psychologist who has escaped from Prison?
    A small medium at large!

    What does JC Penny and our PIMD campus have in common?
    Pants are 50% off!

    What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?
    I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.

    I heard elevators smell a little different for midgets..

    Person 1: I have this really cool knock knock joke. But you have to start it first, okay?
    Person 2: Okay, knock knock!
    Person 1: Whose there? 
    Person 2: 
    Person 1: 

    Person 1: Hey, I have something important to ask you. 
    Person 2: What is it? 
    Person 1: Well, it's important.. Are you sure? 
    Person 2: Yes im sure. 
    Person 1: Positive? 
    Person 2: YES, IM POSITIVE! 
    Person 1: .. Do you know the Muffin man? 
    Person 2: GTFO!!! 

    Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright, before you hear them speak.

    Two atoms are in a bar, one turns to the other and says, 'i believe i lost an electron'. The other atom says, 'are you sure?' to which the first atom replies. 'im positive.'

    I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I have. Thank you for reading my jokes. Send me a private message or a wall post on jokes you want to be added, and I will be sure to credit you for your find. I'll add all of your good ones!

    "That's what."
    - She.
     
  2. LOLOL. I luuuuuuurve the signature.


    However, I read these and went to sleep. That is probably from lack of sleep, but it doesn't bode well...
     
  3. Pretty good lol



    I had a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
     
  4. Lol, I'm positive...

    I feel nerdy now because that is the one that made me laugh more 
     
  5. Ohhhhhhhhh Ikr?? Our chemistry teacher went to town on that one!!
     
  6. Oh gosh. That's pretty funny.

    And corny.

    I'm corny.

    Cause I like corn.

    And I'm a Capricorn.

    So I'm corny.

    That was cornier.

    Autocorrect states that that is not a word.