QOTD; Zombies?

Grab a riding mower and go!

 

THANK GOD IT'S BACK

brb thinking of the answer

 

Of it was overrun by zombies

Then I would escape by lowerslowing those bastards :roll:

simple science ^bro

 

If*

 

I would contact every perv in pimd (if possible) and tell them that they're invited to a "party" in my town. The zombies would commit suicide and I would shove all of the pervs off of a cliff.

 

Well, most of the people in my town are old. So it wouldn't be too hard to bust their kneecaps, come zombie time. To be on the safe side, though, I'd say tie a bandana around my hair line (no matter what battle she is facing, whether it be paint or deadly creatures, a girl must always keep her roots safe) and paint that black stuff on my face under my eyes. FULL ON BATTLE MODE!!! Load up on weapons and ammo and then hightail it out of there. With camo fatigues on. To be safe. With a Kelvar vest on.

Unless it was during my vacation time. Then, it'd be battle mode. There'd be a fort. With a moat around it. Aka someones treehouse. Then...ATTACK! With my loaded guns! And knives! And the ewwwww! And the pew pew! And the grodee!! And the AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!! And the fun fun.

 

Ah, my dear girls and boys, it's simple math.

I would first go to the local grocery store of my choice, and stock up on marshmallows, peanut butter, rolls of toilet paper, cardboard, a shovel, and wrapping paper. Oh, and make sure to have a freshly cut bush at your service.

First, You must make a decoy plan to... Distract the surrounding zombies.

Dig a hole with your shovel and cover it with the wrapping paper. Zombies can't resist a little present-mumbo-jumbo.

Grab your peanut butter and marshmallows, and make a trail of peanut butter leading to the main mosh of zombies. Make sure to put marshmallows on the peanut butter trail.

Note; Another thing zombies can't resist is marshmallows. Especially if they are the Halloween Edition Brain-Shaped Kind.

Now, onto the second part of your plan.

You should've made a fort with the cardboard and toilet paper rolls.

Make sure to have a hole large enough to where you can see out of it, but small enough to where they won't spot and eat you.

Sit inside your fort, which should be on top of the cardboard, dressed in the bush, and wait for the zombies to fall in your pit of hell.

Then, when the zombies are writhing from the sweet overload, and some are even in your huge, hand-dug hole, crawl out of the fort and slowly crawl to the next un-zombie-fied town.

They're zombies! They don't have brains! They'll think you're just a moving bush. <3

 

I have another question..
What happens if zombies don't get enough brains to eat?!
Cause its not like they can die of starvation..cause their already dead you know!!
Also-If zombies start popping up in vegas do they stay in vegas?!
Cause you know what happens in vegas stays in vegas right?!

 

I'm gonna quote my quote that I quoted from Cracked, in a previous zombie post

"as cracked.com proved, zombies can't realistically survive in earth's environment for more than a few days (at most) so I'll just barricade myself in my apartment and wait it out.

Their reasonings (the cliffnote version)

7: Natural predators. Once we go into hiding, remember zombies were only human. Bears, tigers, pumas, etc, would rip their decaying flesh apart in seconds. Even wild dogs will see how easy prey they are.

6: The Heat. Zombies are going to rot. Quickly. Decaying flesh in open sunlight? Putrefaction. When bacteria hits heat it'll eat their body apart. Then they'll start exploding. Literally. This is due to bloating from the gases caused by the bacteria. Dry heat will also mummify them 

5: The Cold. Once dead, the body no longer preserves itself from nature. Human bodies are mostly water. Water freezes. Wait it out. It'll happen. Next is freezer burn 

4: Biting sucks at spreading disease. Every successful disease is from a clever way to spread it. Rabies isn't widespread because it isn't very effective. Airborne diseases or sexually transmitted diseases are way more successful. The second the outbreak happens the CDC will be at work fixing it and locking it down.

3: Can't heal. Think of every little thing you bump into on a day to day basis. Stub a toe. Burn your finger on a hot pan. Once dead, all these wounds will add up. You won't be recovering from any of them. Pretty soon they'll take care of themselves 

2: The Landscape. Mountains, rivers, canyons. How coordinated are these zombies? And at nighttime, I bet they'd wander off cliffs even easier. Even in cities, streets are often easily blocked off. Just barricade with a nice steel door, go to the roof and pick off the zombies with a sniper rifle as they parade down the streets like a mouse in a maze 

1: Weapons. Humans created weapons. We kill things for fun. In 2004 there were over 14m people with a hunting license in the US. With sheer numbers that's the size of an army for the entire greater LA area.
Also. Zombies can't reproduce. Their main form of reproducing is their food and their top predator. As cracked put it, that's like having to fight a lion every time you wanted sex or to make a sandwich. 
This is also just guns. Not other weapons. And these are also only civilians (me included). Don't forget the military, the police, etc.

 anyway. That's how cracked puts it. And it's true. I'd just wait it out inside. Watch a few movies "

 I was far too lazy to type that all out again, go copy and paste! I'm the ultimate buzz kill. Now let's go watch a movie :3

 

 on another note, anyone hear about that thing in Florida with the naked man eating that guys face?

 

Heard he smoked bath salts.

 

I'd walk away 

 

Well I'd act like a zombie cuz zombies aren't very smart so I might be able to fool them. Besides I've heard that brains taste very nice