Hello, making a story and i wanna see what you PIMD people think of it and i will mabe one day publish it
Deep deep in a forest, there were trees so wide and tall that tiny beings called Acros, what have red and blue fur and are about a billion years old, the crafter of War's world. They could shoot fire balls and they protected the worlds Portals very well, when travlers came upon them they would ask them a riddle and if they awnsered it how they would they would be able to go past and get a object. The Arocs' were skilled crafters that had magical wood and iron that can bend into anything they wanted. There was a queen and it was a fellow Aroc, the king was an follower of War, he was an elf but because he loved the Aroc queen so much he let him shrink and grow whenever he wanted. .……………•••••••……….…••••••••• War was sitting on his throne made of Jewls and next to him his servents carried gold,weapons, building matterial, and food for War's colleagee Jestro, A very powerful Demon warrior, he was an exploreier for War and was granted very good reputation by War's people.
Description so far: Arocs are like tiny goblin like people with hair and older and smarter The elfs live in trees snd Arocs live underground so they made their houses under ground in a tree War's freind which is a demon is freindly to any body
War told jestro shy he picked him to go to the dangerous, foresty, world, Jestro was sent in a very fancy boat, it had two decks and had at least a thousand people, there were 500 rooms with ten beds, and there were 50 cooks. War's instructions were to land in the world, bring 20 cooks, and every regular person man and woman, kid and grown people. He was to build houses for everybody and to make peace with the native trents.
The main charchter in this story is an elf slave who gets sent in Jestros boat, Jestro dosent treat slaves wrose then rich and treats them a little better then rich
The elf and jestro become freinds and they save each others behinds alot..... Now, for the rest of the story
After they got to the world, Jestro meet his help, he is an Elf slave and his name is Malfurin. Jestro and Malfurin build their house together and They go get their supplies and start clearing out some space for more houses. When Jestro chopped one tree a rabid Smoth, jumped out and scratched his chest and Jestro is stunned. Just then Malfurin grabs the Smoth and wacks it in the stomachs and it dies. …•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• War gose Beserk when he finds out that his army defeated the war against the Togan, Fish like people who have been at peace with War's house for thousands of years. He sets off for the Togan's city of Orditheas, an under water city. ••••••••••••••••••••¥¥¥¥••¥¥¥•••••••••••••
Malfurins time of being Jestro's Helper is finally over since the last 3 years, he is alow to be married, buy his own land and he gets a helper of his own from Jestro's and War's gratitude. Jestro finally is getting married and he asks Malfurin to make him human, Malfurin has learned magic from a trent and dose exactly that. The people at the new world move foward in land and make more homes. By the next year they have to learn how to make or get their own food. While the woman stay in the houses to make clothing, food and gsther flowers, the men go outside to hunt and fish. When Jestro was fishing Malfurin heard a battle scearm from the forest and then sees a Beast and pushes Jestro out of the way of the blow while Malfurin gets hit very hard. The soliders capture the beast and bring to the stockade. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••¥•••••••¥¥ War walks to the clear, Blue water and looks in to see if there is sny foul beast that wants to try to defeat him, but the wasnt any so her put a root im his mouth and he got a bubble apear around him so he can breath. And then, he steps into the clear, deep, blue water ready for any attackers.
War's queen, Beatrice sent over more men and women to the new world so that it can be heavily populated. There was one woman who every man who was not married would watch her. They would have fights to see who will get to try to marry her, the only unmarried man that didnt fight to get her was Malfurin, he kept doing what he was sapost to. One night when all the men but Malfurin left to find some more races, Jestro's wife saw that Malfurin was working on mirrors, a chest and goblets for the bueatiful woman, Julia. "She like flowers" Jestro's wife said. Malfurin nodded and went off to gather some. •••••••••••••••••••¥¥••••••••••••••••••••••• The next evening Malfurin puts a note on the chest with, goblets filled with flowers and a mirror in the chest. The note says "To find out who gave you these look for a hodded man, that will be me, your annomoniss lover"
Malfurin puts on his cloak with a hood and walks next to Julia's door and waits, at high noon she walks outside and looks for the hooded man and Malfurin follows then accidently bumps into her. She grabs him and says "wait, are you the annomonis man?" and Malfurin awnsers yes. They get married a mounth later and War got to the new world to meet Malfurin, Jestro and Jestro's three year old son.
I just wanna say, I know no ones perfect, but there are a lot of spelling mistakes... Other than that I think it's okay
A note comes from a trent leader about War, it says "A war gose by in a thousand years while a war lasts only 4 mounths" •••••••••••••••
Malfurin and Jestro sail back to War's world and gather slaves, poor men women and orphans and put them all on one boat. Malfurin finds the Arocs and let the elf king's and arocs's queen children come on the boat and they sail back the the new world. After Malfurin and Jestro get back the woman are running to Malfurin and Julia's house, Malfurin asks whats going on and one man says "Shes having a baby!". Malfurin and Jestro run to Julia and see the babys head come out, the trent mystic anounces that it is a boy and that it is going to be powerful when it grows up.
Here's some tips: •spelling •grammar •punctuation •make your updates one long one, it's easier to read •don't forget paragraphs! Especially between conversations •descriptions. Put your descriptions in the context, not in a separate paragraph. •make the flow natural. Give some suspense, some description, etc. Thats all! Haha, I love your name.
5 years later Malfruins Child is old enough to do stuff by its own. He can fish, hunt, and harvest very well. His mom died when he was 3 and Malfruin named his son, Jodo, after Jestro. Jodo chose to be a begger and steal to survive, in the kingdom in the new world, he takes bread, fish, string, cloth, sowrds and other materials. In his free time he hunts with Malfruin, or walks around the kingdom with King Pablo de Jestro. •••••••••••••••••. ••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••• Back in War's World, King Jestro is refusing to taxe his people for gold for War. King Jestro gives homes to poor and slaves and food to the hungry. War gets furiease and sends some soilders over to attack their kingdom but the trents and Malfruin, make walld out of wood and the Arocs' bend the wood and iron to make a protective sheild. War sails to the new world and trys to attack King Jestro's people but they have the Togan, Smoth, Trent's and Wolfipigle on their side. The Aroc provide them with weapons to destroy War's ships and the Togan suround them from water. The wolfipigle and Smoth scout for King Jestro's people and take War's battle plans. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Jodo follows a deer into the deep, protected woods and kills it finding that there is another force on the island that wants to kill War, The Aspects. The wind gets faster around Jodo and he gets suited with very fine armor. The gave him a Diamond sowrd, a golden bow with ever lasting arrows and boota that make him run faster. His helmet lets hime breath under water without drowning. Jodo ran to his father and said "Pa, i know how to kill the bad one, the Aspects gave me armor." "Good my son, We will set tommorow to kill me." The next day............. Am going to leave you hanging so i can think of whats next
The next day Jodo went into the river. He was searching for the lost army of Onan, a Skeloten army that will defeat any living thing that has thoughts of ruleing. Jodo found it and attacked War, Malfurin shot War in the leg so he wouldnt kill Jodo. The skelotons came And finished off War and mad a promise to Jestro, "When you go to War's World name this world Jorgan and name War's World Joang.