First up, Capital letters. Names, pronouns, starting sentences, etc. Caps ON. Next, Quotation marks ("") no to be mean, but this is a story, not a script. Description too. It helps a lot. And paragraphs, it helps us read easier.
I'm sorry I just wanted to write a story I didn't want this to be too mean dash also this is boring because IT IS THE BEGINNING AND IT ISNT JUST A ROMANCE STORY THERE. WILL. BE. A. TWIST. SOON. (once I update maybe) I also already have spell check on -_- as I said I just wanted to write a story and I have taken in flubs thing about adjectives and flub was first I said ok then... oh nevermind
You need to be careful of your grammar. 1st bump: (beginning of story) Since I was 4 I did not see my dad anymore.
ATTENTION: DO NOT WRITE ANY REPLYS ABOUT THAT GRAMMAR AND ANYTHING ELSE SAID I ALREADY AM TRYING TO IMPROVE THAT
It's a good first attempt. Use this as a first draft. Keep updating and then use the constructive criticism to make it better, Em.
I am glad you are working on improving and not taking the constructive criticism badly I know it the people who comment on my story and give me feedback really help
oh btw andi your stories are really good I read one \ my stupid brain can't remember what its called:\)
Thanks, though I don't know what I should be apologizing for...oh well. Um..my two stories that are on going now are I Think I Love You (sequel to Crush On You) and Different. I think you read Different.