A Walk In the Park

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *UltraViolet_ (01), May 2, 2012.

  1. Jadett's P.O.V~


    I walked beside him in the park, my face looking at the concrete I walked on. My black, shoveling-in hair wasn't helping in this hellish heat of Nevada.

    I just listened, our steps in sync with each other. He didn't even like me. I liked him, for sure. His face was like a freckle mania, and his somewhat hazel eyes scared me when I looked into them.
    I brushed my bangs to the side, sticking my hands inside my jeans' pocket. I decided to break the awkward.
    "So...How's it going at home?" I asked, digging a sharp nail of mine into my thigh, thinking.
    "It's doing fine,I guess. Unless you don't count Khloe badgering me about what happens at school. What about you?"

    He was shorter than I was by maybe a foot, but we were the same age and in the same grade. He was absolutely adorable in his BYU shirt and soccer shorts.

    "It's okay, I think. I'm too busy being overloaded with homework to even pay attention to the numbskulls in my house. How about school? I mean, we go to school together, but how are your grades? I said, not regretting a word.
    My mother had died from her disease, leaving me to take care of myself and my brother, my mom's boyfriend-until he can find a new girlfriend-and his two kids.
     
  2. :3 yay more stories
     
  3. Jadett's POV~


    "I have mostly A's, except for my B in computers.." he said, staring down at the ground.
    I kicked a rock, taking my hands out of my pockets.
    "How about you?" he asked, sitting down on a bench ahead of me.
    "I've been getting good grades in most of our classes, Kade."
    "Really? What classes?"
    "I have an A in P.E, I have an A in science and explorations."
    "Everything else?"
    "C in Spanish, B in math and English." I groaned, humming a song from Sweeny Todd.
    I remembered when I had sang it in class, ah good memories.
    "Well that's good," he said, his eyes wondering.
    "Do you remember when I had sang that one song from Sweeny Todd in class?"
     
  4. Kade's POV~

    I froze where I was when she asked me that question. Jadett singing...

    "Jadett.."
    "Do you?" she asked, appearing to be losing her patience. She does have a short temper, and you shouldn't mess with it either. It'll get you a strike across the face.
    "I do...Nellie Lovett...." I said, adding Nellie Lovett's name into the end. That's who she sang as.
    Her face turned a bright shade of red as I called her by the name. She hit my shoulder, looking the other way.
    "Don't call me that, Kade." she hissed, her pale skin showing from beneath her black sleeves.
    A pale child she was, with her dark blue eyes, pale skin, and black hair. She was going to grow it out again.
    I've heard she likes me, but I don't want to jump to conclusions.

    She has many fears, and she's told me all of them. She seems to be afraid of everything. She's wearing a black, long sleeved shirt and jeans today. In 97° F weather! That's because of her fear of Melanoma.

    "Sorry, Jade..."
    "It's okay, I just don't like being called that." she said, ruffling with my spiked hair.
    "Gah, Jade!" I said, scrambling and barely keeping her hands off me, on purpose.
    "Yes, Sweeny?" she giggled, sitting on her knees and tickling me.
    I laughed, almost crying when our parents were walking by and saw us in the grass, her on top of me.
    "Gah-Ha! Jade!" I laughed, grabbing her hands.
    She giggled, letting her arms go limp in mine.
    Her mother was blond, but her father had black hair. Her mother had deep, sea blue eyes, and that's how the lovely Jadett came to be.

    I panted, tired and laughed out.
    "That was fun." she laughed, rolling around in the grass.
    I smiled, my eyes closed as the sun had shown over us. We were head-to-head, lying in the grass.

    She smiled, holding her arms out in the grass, singing.
    She was my Nellie Lovett.
     
  5. :) Criticizing would be nice.
     
  6. -BENS STAMP OF APPROVAL!-

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    I am officacially a fail in wall art
     
  7. Nice. I'll update soon.
     
  8. Miranda's POV~

    My daughter is insane, a very insane child. Jadett is crazy. My brother is the same way.
    She's absolutely insane, and is still a smart child. She has all A's and B's. That boy she likes is so much shorter than her! I dislike it.

    I prefer people as tall as or taller than my daughter. That boy, Kade, is only maybe, 4'3! Meanwhile she's 5'2!
    In sixth grade, she doesn't need a boy friend.
    My husband would probably approve because he's such a nice boy, and has good grades.
    Jadett calls Kade a teddy bear, and I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

    I brushed my blond curls out of my face, and my sea blue eyes searching the room for our house phone so I can call that young lady.
    My husband called me at that moment too.
    "Yes Nate, darling?" I answered sweetly, like I always do. I'm told I have an amazing personality.
    My husband says Jadett has it too because of me.
    "Hey honey," he said, happily.
    "How's work going so far?" I asked, glancing at the clock. He gets home at eight, it's four thirty.
    "Its a bit slow, and my head hurts. How was your day?" he asked me, knowing I can hear the happiness in his voice.
    "It was quick for me today. Jadett is at the park with Kade again." I replied.
    "Ah, that boy is nice."
    "I don't think it would work, besides, they're too young to date."
    "Hm...they have been going places together lately, honey.." he said, thinking.
    "Hm. Maybe I'll invite Kade to stay the night or eat dinner with us." I suggested.
    "Sounds good. I'll see you later." he said, giving a kiss to the mouth piece and hanging up.
     
  9. BENS SE– damn im not even gonna try
     
  10. I like it a lot. It's a good storyline, and the charecter's are well developed. Try not to come right out and say things. Have a little inferencing (sorry if I spelled that wrong) in there. It will make it so much more interesting. Overall grade: B keep working, and I will continue to read!
     
  11. XD Ben

    Thank you. :)
     
  12. I love it! Here is my seal of approval!
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    ShanaAlana's Seal of Approval©
     
  13. -Facepalm- FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU-
     
  14. Jadett~

    My phone rang, it was my mother's phone number.
    I cocked my head to the side, lying down next to Kade and answered.
    "H-Hello?" I asked, feeling weird.
    My mom died. Her phone is calling me.
    "Hello? Is this Jadett?" the feminine voice asked me.
    "Yeah...Why?" I asked, holding Kade's hand.
    "Well...Your Mother died in New York because of her disease, correct?" she asked, her voice cracking as if she was going to be in tears.
    "Yeah..How would you know?"
    "Well....."
    "Well what?!" I barked, sitting up and Kade sitting up with me.
    "I am your mother, Jadett."
    "Impossible! You don't even know a thing about me!"

    "Well, I do." she answered calmly.
    "Liar!" I hissed.
    "Jadett Emily-" she said, almost saying my whole name.
    "Impossible! You've never even seen my face!"
    "Fine, I will prove I am your mother. Come back home, right now."
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    :0 Has Miranda been hiding from her daughter since her faked death? :0
     
  15.  *gasps* why would she do such a thing?
     
  16. -reloads shotgun- Jadett's mom shall not leave -terminator voice-