This is my first story and it's true so it might be kinda boring but here I go ------------------------------------------- Tonight was a good night. Relaxing. I was at peace. I finally thought she was gunna be ok. That that her cancer wouldn't reach her heart. That night she was mine . No one coming in and out to visit. Just us. My family Safe and together. We watched a Movie that night. Even though it was just I movie I still have a hard time jut talking about it. That night was the last time we laughed together as a family. But every good thing has too come too an end. Am I right? -------------------------------------------- Sorry it was kinda short
When I woke up that morning everything was different. Why were so many people here. I didn't like being around so many people. It made me nervous. I went outside thats when it hit me . It hit me hard. My aunts and uncles where at my house . I haven't seen them in 2 years. My uncle pulled my to the side. " Sarah she's dead" He said as he stared down at me. I didn't believe him. " that's a sick joke!" I said with a scowl on my face. He didnt answer me he just walked away. When I went out back my bet friend was there. Nate. He is like a brother to me. I told him what my uncle told me. He didn't believe it either so we walk inside. The air was cold and thick. No one talked. Just washed her body. " Hey Gee" I called to my grandmother laying on he bed. No answer " awe c'mon did Jeff ( my uncle) tell you to do this?" No answer I finally realized what everyone was telling me was true. I couldn't take it. I just snapped.. " NOOO" I screamed as tears started to stream down my face. Nate tried to calm me down but it just made me mores angry . " HOW COULD HE TAKE YOU " I started to run towards her. Nate grabbed me and held me against his chest. " Shh shh it will be okay" he whispers in my ear . I was still bawling. " w-wwh-whyyy" I stammered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tell me what I need to work on please.
Grammar. No spaces before periods one space behind, just make sure you double check. Perhaps a bit longer with more detail? Good story though.
My life was changed. She was like a second mother to me. I loved her with all my heart and now she is gone so part if me is also gone. Nate stayed with me all night. He never left me. He held me in his arms and tried to calm me down. " shhh. It's okay". He told me owe as over again. We fell asleep together when I finally calmed down. I woke up in the morning and saw him. I thought to myself " Do I have feelings for him?" After 3 days was the viewing. I didn't think I had any emotion left in me. I cried all day. Nate wasn't able to come so I was pretty much alone. My mom sat in front with the rest of my family but I sat in the back by myself. It seemed like it lasted forever but eventually it was over and everyone went out to eat. I didn't realize how everyone could be so happy. So joyful and be able to talk to everyone with a smile. We were missing someone. Someone that will never come back. And they could smile? It didn't make sense to me. Nate came to my house and we talked for hours " I'll always be there for you. You can count on me." Nate said but I wasn't sure if he was true about himself. " but you have a life to and you can't always worry about me" I layer down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. He came and layer beside me and looked into my eyes. " your important to me and I love you" he slowly closed his eyes as got closer to my lips
I felt is perfect lips against mine. My body wen numb. He was just... Well perfect. I realized I did love him. Maybe my life wasn't over just yet . Maybe I did have something to live for. We both leaned back and smiled " So do you believe me now?" Nate questioned "Almost maybe try it again." I bit my lip. We connected again and I went numb. I practically melted in his hands. He was perfect in every way. We pulled apart again. " I really do love you" He said. " I know you do" I laughed and went to get up from the bed but he grabbed me by the waist. " you're not going anywhere." I thought to myself. This is perfect. " looks like I'm staying right here then" I laid back into his arms. And we just laid there for the rest of the night. Not talking just being in love with each other . This was too good to be true. I thought it can't last not with my luck -------------------------------------------- do you think it will last?