So i got a lot of free time on my hand so i decided to write(well type something ).So this my first attempt.Please give me your honest reviews 'bout it. -------------------------------------------- "There are 2 coming up from the left.",Brad said. "Got enough C4 there to take out an army",I replied. Let me get some context in before you think we're freako-terrorrists.We're just playing a game. Brad's my younger brother(giving him hell basically comes in my job description).He's 5"10 and a year younger than me.With his short blonde hair and soccer jersey,he was the proverbial "ladies man".Yup, he had all the girls lining up to date him.(No,I'm not mentioning you have a python in your pants :| ).Siblings can be a pain. Anyways,I'm Dean.6"0 and 17 years old.Unlike my brother i have wavy black hair which falls over my(no points for guessing)black coloured eyes too.I'm also not in the soccer team or the track team.Don't get me wrong,I love running but I'm not a really competitive person.You can usually find me alone by the cafeteria with my guitar.Yes,my red vintage '69 fender.She is my baby.I've loved music since i was a kid and when my parents gave her to me on my 16th birthday,it was like I'd found true love.I'm a shy guy so I'm not really hot on the dating market.So its just me and my baby. "We'd better leave for school bro.I already got kicked out yesterday for being late the first class".He'd purposely muted the last part of his sentence.Sadly,i've got ninja ears so i picked it up. "Cutting class?! We reached 10 minutes before school started and you still were late?!"I asked with a bit of intuition,cause i knew what the reply would be. "What can i say first jenny and then stacey.They're hard to please you know.",he said with his stupid cheeky grin. (Called It) "Your a dog,man.Anyways I'm all packed up so let's move and divs on the driver's seat.",I said shoving whatever books i could find into my bag. "Screw you man",he said while running down the staircase trying to find some stuff of mine so he could blackmail me into letting him drive. Anyways i picked up my guitar and closed my room. "Bye mom,we're leaving"I called out. "Bye sweetie,your father and i won't be home at night so we've kept your dinner in the fridge",she replied. "Cool",I said while shutting the door. My mom and dad Have a vast social circle,so they're out almost every night. Since he couldn't find any of my stuff,Brad sat on the front passengers seat. The drive to school wasn't really long and AC/DC's Highway To Hell made it worth it. I parked in the Vice-President's parking spot.I guess i forgot to mention that even though i wasn't really popular i got voted in as vice-president.(I didn't believe it either) Brad and I parted ways at school when Jolene waved at him. "Duty calls brah.",he said acting like James Bond and giving her the sexy stare. I had sometime before my english class so i headed for the cafe to pick up a soda or some juice. -------------------------------------------- I know i haven't started with like a 'bang'(sorry but i'm just really immature) but i hope you enjoy it.
Do put spaces after some sentences while one person is talking. And don't put commas after someone is talking and don't use parenthesis. :3 Other than that, it's good!
Wazza peeps?!Brad here. Finally i get some air-time. So you've heard from my brother i suppose.He means well,he's always supported me so he's pretty cool that way.Plus his red fender is totally sweet.(I'm not that shallow am I) Man was Jolene hot.Her skirt length was what,the length between my thumb and little finger?!She was like a sex kitten. "Hey Brad.",she cooed. Man could i get drunk on her voice,but i played it cool.After all I'm just that good.Not to forget the python. "Hey yourself Jolene.",I replied with in my most seductive voice. "Some of the girls and I are thinking of cutting class and going out.No guys are coming but we'd totally make an exception for you." Jolene's friends were hot too.Lemme think,there was Samantha,who was the class president's girlfriend.Jane,who was part of the cheerleading squad and Michelle who was the school's fashion diva.Jolene herself was the head cheerleader. Hanging out with them.ALONE.Only an idiot or my brother would pass up this opportunity. "Where can i take you ladies?!",I laid it on them thick. "We're thinking of that new mall which just opened up.",they replied almost unanimously. We were at the mall in 15 minutes.The walk was totally awesome the 4 of them totally treated me like royalty.Man were they flirtatious.Not that its new to me.I saw this as a really cool opportunity to make a move on Jolene. "Omg check out the jimmy chu's",Michelle shrieked. All the girls were catching up to her. I managed to grab Jolene's arm and pulled her closer. "Hey,i was thinking bout something",I said,giving her my most naughty smile ever. "What were you thinking hotstuff?!",she replied bringing her face just 2-3 inches in front of mine. She smelt like a ripe field of strawberry's.Intoxicating.No,i'm not a romantic.SHUTUP.I always have this irritating voice of my brother in my head. "I was thinking about you and I babe",I replied,keeping eye contact with he gorgeous green eyes. "What were you thinking about us?!",she replied with her naughty smirk. Man was she being a tease. Two can play at that game. "That's for me to know and you too guess,eh?!",I flirted back. "My parents aren't home this weekend.Do you wanna come on over?!",she replied with a wink. Boo Yeah,I am so getting laid. I'd better rush back to school before Dean realizes i cut school.Man would he be pissed. --------------------------------------------