life...again

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by lindsey1414, Apr 10, 2012.

  1. My name is Katie. Well it is now anyway. Last time is was Jane, and the time before that it was Gretchen. One time, my name was Jack. Some people don't believe in reincarnation. Easy for them to say, it's never happened to them. I have been reincarnated four times now. About 240 something years ago, I was born into a boys body, and my parents named me Jack. I lived a pretty good life. I had friends, and a loving family. Life was a lot simpler back then.

    Fictional story im writting...more coming soon!
     
  2. When I was fourty (in the body of Jack) i was killed in a horrible car accident. I excpected to go into the light and all that crap, but instead I was in the emergency room again. I heard the doctor say "you have a beautiful baby girl."
    My next life was a girl named Gretchen. I had a dad, but my mom died in birth. I tried to explain to my dad how I had been born again, but he didn't believe me (of course) and he thought I was insane. As I moved on in my life as Gretchen, my dad wasn't the only one who didn't believe me. At the age of 7 i met my best friend, Macy. She didn't believe me either. Acually, this whole thing drove us apart. It started arguments, and eventually, we became enimies. In the same year that me and Macy split up, I died of namonia. I was only seventeen. I figured that would be the end, but there I was, back in the hospital. "you've given birth to a baby girl!"

    Do u guys like it?
     
  3. Should i continue writing this, cuz no one seems to be reading it
     
  4. Hancmkesngwkv continue! This is so freaking good. How could I have not read it before?!?! BUMP!
     
  5. My name was Jane. I was accually really pretty. I had the perfect life. I was popular, and I had a boyfriend. Even though I had an amazing life, I couldn't stop
     
  6. Thinking about my old family. I couldn't stop thinking about Macy. I wanted to go and visit them, but I knew they wouldn't believe me. I would just make them upset. I knew I would never get used to the fact that I would never see them again.
    At the age of 23 I went into a terrible depression. I didn't want anything to do with life. I stopped eating, and I stop leaving the house. I was a mess. When I was 31, I passed away, only to be born again. This time I would try as hard as I could to live life to the fullest, so I would never have to go through with that again.
     
  7. I have a feeling like this was the prologue or something. And I told Chloe I'd critique, but it's not that far into the story yet to notice mistakes. Maybe use punctuation marks (comas, etc).
     
  8. Thanks for the advice!
     
  9. Now, I am Katie. Wheather I like it or not, I have once again been reincarnated, and I am going to make the best of it. Right now, I am 14, and I am being extremely careful, not to die again. I figured if I live to be over 50 years old, I might finally be able to rest in peace. All this thinking is making me dizzy. Whoosh, a car zoomed right past me, and I realized that I am just standing there in the middle of a street. Cars are honking at me, and headlights are blinding me. I sprinted to the curb. Out of breath, and petrified, i muttere to myself "this is going to be harder than I though."
     
  10. ..? how did she get to the street?

    This is good though.

    Maybe more detail..

    I like it when authors dwell on something for more then 5 words :3
     
  11. Ok...i will take youre advice and use it
     
  12. It's good. .-.

    And maybe you should use capital letters more. 
     
  13. I felt light headed, so I went and sat down for a while. I had to think things through. Not just the recent things. No, I mean everything. Ever sence I heard that doctor say "you have a baby boy!" How was I ever going to end my life? How long would this last? I don't think I can stand going through another reincarnation. If I did I might just kill myself. Oh wait, that would just re-start my problem again. I just want to scream. I want to run and scream my head of. I want to sing on a river, and dance in the rain. I want to clear my head, and start over. I want to forget everything that's happened to me. I want to soar. I want to fly. I want a lot of things, that I know will never happen. I don't understand, why this happened to me? What did I ever do wrong? Am i special? Or not special at all? I had no idea! All i knew was that i couldn't fight this alone. I needed help, and lots of it.
     
  14. Sorry, I know I forgot a couple capitals
     
  15. Actually you got a lot of them right. Good job. 
     
  16. It's great I love it
     
  17. I see a bit of spelling mistakes, I like the plot, but a bit more detail could be used. :) Just my opinion.
     
  18. Ok thanks! I'm open to any critism and/or comments
     
  19. BUMP BUMMPITY BUMPP LOL 