Something To Believe In

Part 41: Jenna's Point of View

I just admitted to Mason, Mason Parker that I was in love with him. Tears were streaming down my face, I didn't even see him come closer to me. Strong arms wrapped around me, that's when I realized he was near me. Hugging me. "Shh." He cooed into my ear. "It's going to be okay." His soft lips pressed against my forehead.

"I love you too, Jenna." He whispered against my hair. Hearing those words, having him so close to me. It made my heart stop. My breathing stopped too. I stood there in absolute shock. My entire body froze.

"I meant what I said though," He licked his lips. "I can't be your boyfriend. You deserve so much better than me." I deserve him. I know I do, he's a good person. He just hides it. He can be the person he wants to be for me, I know he can. Mason's soft fingers gently pulled my chin up so I had to look into his eyes. Those black eyes searched through mine for a minute before he let out a frustrated sigh and looked away.

"Give Owen a chance. He'll treat you well." Mason said lightly.

I shook my head, still crying. "No." I choked. "Mason no. I won't."

He nodded, thinking to himself. "Please do it, for me. I can't be your boyfriend Jenna." He said it again. Why does he keep saying that?

"Mason! Stop ducking saying that! You can be my boyfriend! You just don't want to be.." I said at first angry, but then I trailed off, knowing my last sentence was true.

"Are you ducking kidding me Jenna?!" He said sternly. "I want to be your boyfriend more than anything in the world. But I'll hurt you, and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. But I can't do anything about it, so I know that to avoid hurting you. There can't be an 'us'."

He thought he would hurt me? Why would he think that? Mason seemed to notice my confusion. "Let's just face it Jenna, you and I both know that I'll end up cheating on you. I don't want to. But I'm a guy .. I have needs. I get drunk when I party and do stupid things. I respect you too much to pressure into things.." He trailed off at the end.

I shook my head slightly, looking down at the ground. "I'm willing to take that risk.." What was I saying? I must really love this guy. I do. More than anything. "I know you won't hurt me." I whispered.

Mason took a step forward. "You don't understand Jenna. I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be what you deserve." He reached out and ran his fingers through my hair once. "You deserve the world, Heaven."

"There's nothing to be scared of." I whispered.

"Okay Jenna," He sighed. "This is me, spilling my guts out. After I kissed you, I got incredibly scared. Scared because I couldn't hide what I was feeling anymore. Not just because I've never felt like this before but because I'm feeling it towards you. You know? I mean," He licked his lips.

"You're my best friend. Did you know that? See, it's not the same for you, you have Sydney. But for me, you're it. I mean, you're the one Jenna. The only. When I have a problem, it's you I talk to. And so if suddenly we become a couple, which at this point I really want, then suddenly you're my everything. My girlfriend, my best friend, my world. That gives you a lot of power, Jenna. I'm not saying that I don't trust you with it. I do. I'm just saying, be careful. You could blow me away."