"so please help me with my story"I had asked my so called friend Ryan and idiot,but a true friend sometimes to friend...sometimes."sorry Nate,but I need to focus on my story panama" "you never work on it,it been so long since you last worked on it" "doesn't mean I won't plus I have the whole story down in my head,you see,this girl Veronica is..." "you too are still wrting stories"Ryan and me turned around to see who interrupted us,and it was our best friend Carolina"what are you two doing at school,you don't have any after school activities."she asked."shut up,Caroline,we stayed here to work on our stories,well...mostly on Nate story..."Ryan said."oh that's right,I never read your story panama"Carolina said."oh...sorry,we never really see each other anymore, plus I'm kinda in a writers block." Ryan said laughing."what!you just told me how you have veronica's story down!" I had said yelling."oh yeah that's right,you see Carolina,my character is a..." "omg guys"Rick said interrupting Ryan."guys look what's posted on YouTube."I looked at both Ryan and at Carolina confuse who were also confuse.I got up and went to see the video Rick wanted us to see. "special new report,a subatomic virus has been released turning the dead into flesh..." The news report ended with dead rising from their graves and coming toward the reporter and the camaraman.I had a surprising look on my face about what I just saw so I got up and went toward the window."Nate what was it?"Carolina asked."nothing I said with a scare tone on my voice."it's the end of the world as we know it"Rick said scare.I saw something moving outside.It had blank white eyes with blood dripping from it's face and pale skin as those that were on the video."impos...!"I was interrupted when a scream was heard from outside.I walked toward where my bookbag was with a scare look on my face."we have to get out now"I said yelling.
I think this story is the best zombie fictional piece of writing bc it has so many details and its about a freaking ZOMBIE APOCALIPSE!!!!!! Beastly I dont care If I spelled that wrong btw ah- mazing story dude really everyone needs to read it
You need to put spaces when people are talking Dx. It's confusing. Also write in full words, it looks better and it's impossible to misinterpret the meaning.
"What happened?"Ryan asked me. "The school is being overrun by zombies"I said to him. "Wait how?" Caroline asked. "I don't know just that some kind of virus has been realesed turning all the dead into flesh eating zombies and now our school is being overrun by them"I said.without us noticing one of the zombies appeared out nowhere biting Caroline on her neck. "dammit"I yelled out grabbing the computer and smashing it into the zombie face. I looked at Caroline and saw that she wasn't gonna last long and turn into a zombie. "dammit why did this has to happen to us"I said almost cover in tears. "Nate kill me I don't want to be one of them,I don't wanna be one of them and be chasing after you,I love you and nothing is gonna change that"I saw how Caroline body went limp so I threw the computer right on her face smashing it. "I love you too Caroline and I as a man of my word will find what or who caused this and stop them"I said crying. "Nate we have to go before more of them appear"Ryan said to me putting his hand on my shoulder. "yes your right,Rick and Ryan let's go and solves this mystery"I said smashing a window and throwing myself off landing on top of a school bus. Ryan and Rick follow but with Rick falling on top of me. "Rick get off my back your too fat,your squishing me to death"I said yelling at him almost out of breath. "sorry Nate"Rick said getting off my back. I got off the boss and smashed the bus door open and turning the engine on. ""get in"I said to them. They did as I said and we left our normal life behind with one of our best friend dead. "I assure you Caroline I will make whoever did this pay"I whispered to myself. ______________________________Story will continue next
Can you put spaces between your paragraphs as Happiness_Sadness mentioned before? Anyways that was a good update. Sorta similar to Jihi's zombie story. Lol...Continue though Blump! By the way..don't post on DorkiKari's wall because I'm her. :lol:
So much error. I feel the urge for advice. 1. Put spaces between quotes and sentences; example: "I can't take it anymore!" See that space! 2. Spaces between paragraphs for better reading experience. 3. Spaces between punctuation: There was a house, it was read. Space after my comma. I believe that's good starters. If I sounded sarcastic and irritable, I apologize, my main goal is to help.