This is to mock all of you pathetic morons. No, I'm not serious about this. It's cheesy, cliché, and rushed. Just like I want it to be. ------ "Nobody likes me!" His exasperated expression morphs back into a pitiful gaze as he grabs at his heart before tearing up. "Obviously." The anxious pixie leaning on the bed sneers as he makes a dramatic scene in front of "nobody". Well, at least she's invisible to him. "My mom hates me!" "I can see why." 'Another self pitying response. Aren't humans so enticing? With their drama and shit, this generation is going to burn in hell.' The pixie smiled as she danced in the air, muttering. "My dad will kill me!" "Murder is too good for you." It was, really. The pixie waved away some fairy dust floating around in the air before cupping her face with her hands. "Oh my God my grades suck! I will never get a girlfriend or job!" "Only a lunatic will hire you. Your girlfriend will most likely be a fifty year old desperate virgin in heat and in need of some love from a loser. Plus, she's probably cheating on you with a dildo that's longer than your prick." The mischievous fairy snickered before flying out of the window, throwing a rock at him in the process. "Nighty night, pitiful!" ----- "You're such a bitch! Go fuck your mom!" The curious spectator glanced down at the man, before waving at herself. "Honestly, the insult 'your mom' is plain moronic. I can see why though, she hadn't raised her children properly." "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! I AM SO FUCKING SORRY ALREADY, GOD! IT WAS MY BROTHER WHO DID IT, GIVE HIM A BREAK! HE LIVES IN AN ORPHANAGE FOR GOD SAKE!" "Hard to believe." Humanity's ways were so vexing to take care of, as it is a politicial pixie's job to correct the foolish human's ways. "WHATEVER, JUST SHUT UP!" "Both of you should just burn in hell..." The sadistic grin creeping up on the pixie's faxe expanded, and she ticked off two names on her "Naughty List". ---- The next destination was a party. Instead of an invisible disguise, the pixie decided to dress up as a slut to mock the humans. The men who were eying her were bleeding from their eyes, thanks to her little wand she carried around. The redheaded fairy spotted two of her targets, hoodlums. Female, with no taste in fashion. Most likely angsty teenagers without discipline, ettiquette or manners. "OMG YOU FUCKING STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!" "I DON'T CARE WE'RE GETTING MARRIED." "OMG I HATE YOU TANIA." "OMG MY NAME ISN'T TANIA, TAN, TANNY, TANNA, OR TANIALA." The pixie had to slap herself on this one. Before the two continued to protest, she stepped in, her long red hair whipping behind her, threatening to kill the two women if they dared to move. "OMG WHO ARE YOU?" they screamed in unison. As cliché as it seems, the fairy had to reply smoothly. "Your worst nightmare." The two began to protest, but to no avail. The redheaded pixie only pushed her hands in front of their faces before pulling it back immediately, grabbing a hankerchief and wiping her delicate fingers. "Ew, human germs." The two teens had began to rage, grabbing bottles of wine and beer and holding them up like a weapon. They looked more like the female version of godzilla, really. "OMG SHUT THE HELL UP!" Rage. The very thing etched on their faces before they slammed face first into the wall behind the redhead (or should I say ginger?). The woman took her leave and stepped out of the room, not giving a fucking shit about the mass of blood in there. (Perverts.) ------ "Here you go, skank." The fairy handed the list of checked off names to Satan, who was eating a bunch of maggots and drinking warm piss, or beer, when she arrived. He only shrugged and grabbed the list before snapping his fingers. Only God knows what mishap is happening on Earth right now... "WELCOME TO HELL, FUCKTARDS!" ------
Tiff, this is not bullying. This is honestly PURE HUMOR. Okay, only slightly. SLIGHTLY. The rest was for everybody experiencing self pitying. I'm serious.