This is a story I'm writing, not necessarily true..,yet ;P I was walking past one of my guy friends who was standing with some dude by the lockers ...he looked kinda...cute. "hey ___________" I said "hey Rachel" my friend said "woah, who is THAT " the dude said staring at me fascinated. I blush and smile, "Is he seriously talkin about me?" I thought. Then I laughed and said "uhh hey " He walked over to me "hey, so what's your name?" he asked me I was a bit stunned for a second "Rachel....what's yours?" He smiled with the most attractive look on his face, he was so handsome! "Chase" he said "Chase __________" "cool" I said And that's just the beginning... <3
Update: Soo he was in 2 of my classes, and everytime he saw me he did something flirtatious. I walk into my history class and he's sitting down....in MY seat. So I walk up to him. "dude, why are you in my seat when yours Is over there...empty?" He stands up and smiles, staring at me right in the face with those amazing brown eyes peeping out from his black long skater hair. He caresses my face, catching the kids who were in class early's attention, I try to avoid his eye contact as he says "mmm, you are so cute when you demand me to get outta your seat." I take his hand off my face, "whatever jeez, ur so...ugh" "I'm so ugh!" he said mocking me, "you make me laugh" "cool." I said pretending not to care. "I thought he was cool when I first saw him, but he's gotta be a player type" I thought to myself "I mean with all those girls around him, plus I'm sure he's dated atleast a handful before he met me, I mean I know ur kinda supposed to but how can I be sure I'm actually special to him?" The bell banishes my thoughts temporarily as class starts. Makayla waves at chase all flirty, and he waves back smiling... "ugh" I thought
Okay update my loves ^^ I shove my history book in my locker and closed it fast before everything could fall out, guess who was behind me? "hey there gorgeous" his annoying yet so attractive voice seeped in my ears "hi chase" I said flatly, rolling my eyes "I am not a player!" he said standing infront of me, as if he read my mind. I sighed "well still, I know you think I'm cool but what if that's just for a while. I can't be your little toy, I mean I'm not exactly saying you'd be like that but maybe I'm not even that special to you." "you are Rachel, you have no idea how special you are to me, it's been that way since I first saw you. Yes I talk to other girls, none of them make me feel like you do, I care for you, give me a chance." I paused, I know what he said was true but I was scared...I knew I liked him but I didn't want to get hurt. "chase...I Just don't know" I said looking down with shame. He moved closer to me, I could smell his cologne, I flinched because I was so nervous. My heart was accelerating. "I trust you" he said softly while gazing in my eyes. I had to look away, embarassed. He gave a hopeful half smile and walked off. I sighed. What am I gonna do?
Update my loves, tell me whatcha think: Well me and chase are Like best friends, he's always there for me, and he makes me smile alot. I text him lately too. He's sooo amazing....but I just don't know about us together...and all this friendship makes me like him more. "that's an intresting book" chase's voice coming from right behind me, I jumped. Mainly it was cuz he squeezed the side of my stomach. I flipped around fast and then froze. I was about 5 inches away from his face, my heart was pounding again and my face heated up. He knew I felt like that cuz that was his motive. "awww are you nervous baby?" he said in almost a whisper. He was on me, not really but kinda, I was against the library bookshelf. He took my hand and held it. Some girls where staring at us and whispering to each other curiously. I put my hands on his chest and got a strange feeling for a split second and pushed him off me. "stop calling me that jeez" I said irritated "were not dating." I glared at him, he stared at me affectionately. "yet" he said laughing. "whatever" I walked over to another aisle of books. "come here." he said, coming toward me for a hug. I stood there, why does he do this to me? "mmm" he said as he hugged me. He was so warm. "your cold" "not really" I lied, I was freezing. He steped away and unzipped his red jacket, "why would lie to me like that? It's pretty obvious, I mean jeez girl your shakin like an earthquake" "shut up" I said laughing. He gave me his jacket, "put it on" he said. "well how would that help you, now your gonna be cold." "yeah well I'm a man I think I can handle it, I don't want you to catch a cold dollface." he winked at me. "chase" I poked him in the stomach,"oh" I realized he had abs, I'm not sure if it was a 4 or a 6 pack. He smirked at me "you like that? My sexy abs?" he teased. "shut up!" I was smiling too much, I knew he was satistfied with it too "it's okay you can touch 'em" he winked "ohmygosh I'm leaving" I walked off. One of the girls from earlier came up to me...I think it was Kayla "soo...chase huh?" she poked me "what, pshh..yeah right." I said trying to hide my embarassment. She laughed and walked away. Crap, she thinks it, I know it, He wants it, I'm in love with chase.
Update yeah I update fast huh? "History class, yay" I thought sarcasticly as I walked in the doorway. "really?" I said to chase, who was staring up at me smiling all innocent. "what?" he said like he didn't know what he was doing wrong. "everyday little boy, I tell you that's my seat and I know You don't have short term memory loss because you can't seem to keep my name out your head." He laughed "I can't help it." I pointed to his seat "out." I demanded "but I Like it here" he sat back all comfortable. I sighed, I was too tired to have a pointless argument. "well if you don't move I'm going to sit on you." I challenged. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow "well, that's a shame" he leaned back and patted his leg. I knew he would do this, but i didnt care. "alright well you asked for it." I sat down on his lap, crossed my arms and stared at him. He hugged me from behind and was an inch away from my face. What's happening? My heart was going way too fast and my face heated up, everyones eyes were on us. "Dont deny how much you like this, I can feel you getting nervous." he whispered in my ear. I clenched my teeth "Get some bro!" Tony yelled. Chase looked away for a split second then back to me, he was right on me, I could feel him breathing down my neck. I was freaking out so much, I felt like I would explode by how close he was. "blahh!" I said as I jumped up "jeez get out of my desk chase!" He stared at me with a half amused face as he got up and went to his seat. "jeez why does he do this? He just loves to taunt me like that." I thought. It sucks, because I like him and I know he really likes me...I just don't know how to do this. The bell rang.
I think you need to do Chase's point of view. It's a good story outline, but you're not showing if Chase is really a good person or bad person. Let us see what he's thinking.
Well you asked so i delivered ^^ Chase's Side of the story: This girl...she's just amazing. I mean I knew from when I first saw her she'd be cool, but I never thought I'd fall in love this much. Just the way she is, her hazelish brown eyes twinkling at me, her insane punk rock dress style (she makes dress code look hot), and the way she calls my name. She's so perfect in all the right ways...but she seems to reject me alot. At the beginning I thought she'd be easy to get like all the girls i've dated, I mean I suppose I do look very attractive. However Rachel...whole different story. She likes her respect, she's very complicated but I kind of understand her. Original girls would have got on me by now and asked to make out If I flirted with them the way I do to rachel. I don't know it just seems right, I want her..sometimes I can't help myself..and I'm not sure if I'm wrong or not but...I think she likes me as well.
Now we can understand what Chase is thinking. May I also suggest something else? If you would put paragraphs between dialogue and different situations it would look much more attractive and easier to read. This is advice I got from my friend. Great story! I hope you keep on writing it!