I get up the next morning. I go immediately to my desk and pull out my pen and paper. After a while I have come up with a poem/rap that embodies all of my frustration and anger towards everyone that has tried to put me down. Here's what it sounds like. You roll your eyes when you look at me I'm not just some open book thet you can read I have feelings that are deep But lately I've been feeling like a heap And It's getting hard for me to sleep Nothing helps, no counting sheep Because I keep sinking deeper Into the abyss you made for me I only wish that you could see All of the things you've done to me Everytime I turn now, you are there If you expect me to be scared Then you better be prepared Because I have been repaired All my battle wounds have healed And now I'm gonna make you feel Sorry for all the shit you said that will never be repealed I am a human being too I know I'm better than all of you This time I know I will get through The walls and barriers that try to Stop me. You won't stop me I will just keep pushing through This time I know I will beat you. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it.
I take the paper and shove it into my pocket and go downstairs. Mom and dad are both at work (as always) so I'm alone (as always). I make breakfast and watch some stupid tv. I get some homework done and by the time it's noon. I get on my bike and start to ride to this park near my house. I always hung out there when I was a kid. They had an awesome playground. Some dumbass hood kids demolished it. I stay away from there and just go sit under a tree near the lake in the middle of the park. I close my eyes and start to think. For a while everything is silent besides the stupid geese and ducks. I hear a squirrel rustling some leaves but i don't feel like opening my eyes. Soon I'm nearly asleep. I feel something touch my side and swat at it. "Jack?" I open my eyes. It's Carrie. She's sitting next to me. She looks just as confused as I imagine I do. "What're you doing here?" I tell her I was just laying around. "Hey, I heard about what happened last night..." she says in a hushed voice. "I'm sorry," she says as I turn away. "It's fine." No it's not. It's awful. Why did she have to find out? Carrie leans her head on my shoulder. "I think you were brave for going after that evil man." I know she's just trying to cheer me up but it still helps. I smile and thank her. I ask her why she came down here. "I used to always come down here. I loved feeding the ducks and playing on the playground. I miss that playground." I miss it too.
Carrie and I sit there for another hour. We just talk and stare at the lake. We laugh together everytime a goose flies into another. At one point I look down and notice that she put her hand out on her leg. I think about holding it. I don't. "Yeah, the story is going great. I really like Zoe. She's a good character. Thank you," she says with a warm smile. "I can't wait for it to be done so you can read it." "Well, I can't wait to read it," I smile back at her. "Jack? Can I tell you something?" I tell her that she can. "I'm really glad we're friends. I hate that I have to deal with all of these popular kids. I just love getting away from all of it because I know that when I'm not with those popular assholes, I'm with you. You know how to treat me like a human being and you're always so nice. You are my friend for me and not for what other people think of me. That really means a lot to me." she smiles her beautiful smile as her light brown hair whips in the wind. I can tell that my cheeks are getting red. I wish I knew what to say. "I'm really glad we're friends too. I love that you hang out with me even though I'm not popular. It really makes me feel happy. You make me happy." She holds my hand and we keep smiling at each other. With that, in a single moment, bliss.
I get home later and get inside to find my mom. She has a cigarette and is shrouded by the smoke. I glare at her for a second and go up to my room. I close the door and hope it will be a good enough gas mask for me. Well, the rest of the day in uneventful. I stay up watching YouTube videos until like 1 in the morning. The next morning, I go downstairs, which still smells awful, and make some bacon. I go watch the news and watch the story of the man who saved a woman at a local fast food restraint. I emidistely turn it off and sulk. I shove my hand into my pockets and find my phone, no texts, keys and wallet. No paper... I open my wallet and still can't find it. Great. I go get my bike and ride as fast as possible to the park and run to the tree. There is one slip of paper under a rock. "Way to leave your s*** here, loser!"
I sit there. Angry and upset. I had written that poem for people like whoever stole it. I leave. I take my bike and go home. I sulk in my room for a couple of hours. Then I decide I'm going to go down to the gas station and get some food. I ride my bike there and pick up some chez mix and a soda. I get a call, it's Carrie. "Hey Jack, do you want to come over?" I tell her that I'd love to. I need to take my mind off of the poem. I ride my bike home and get in my car to drive to Carrie's house. When I get there her stupid brother opens the door, insults me, and is then punched in the arm by Carrie who welcomes me in. We go up to her room. She shows me how the story is going. I tell her how great it is. It's pretty great. We keep talking and Carrie asked me, "Jack? Will you do something for me?" I nod. "Close your eyes." I close my eyes and feel something warm and sweet touch my lips. When it's over, I open my eyes and Carrie is frowning at me. "Carrie, why'd you do that?" "I really like you Jack. But I can tell you don't feel the same." she looks as if she's about to be upset. "Carrie, I do like you. I really like you but we can't do this. I don't want to make you misreble just because of me. Everyone would make fun of you if we did." She keeps frowning. I hug her tight. "I know Jack. I think you're right.... You should leave." And with that, I left.