is this a GUD poem?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012.

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  1. How do I sleep?
    When you are awake,
    I cannot see,
    The hate in your eyes,
    Is like venom into the black holes
    That we're once called eyes.







     I'm working on it. Comment please
     
    #1 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  2. @op

    Question- How do I sleep?

    Answer- with your eyes closed 
     
    #2 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  3. 

    The game. 
     
    #3 *_Nobody_ (01), Jan 20, 2012
  4.  lol. But is it good???
     
    #4 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  5.  
    #5 _lllMrA-HerArmorlll_, Jan 20, 2012
  6. aren't poems supposed to rhyme? Like Dr. Suess 
     
    #6 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  7. No. They don't always have to.
     
    #7 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  8. Dr. Suess did

    I only like poems that rhyme
     
    #8 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  9.  ok. Swowwy I can't make it whyme 
     
    #9 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  10. Like so:

    What is the only way I can fall asleep?

    The only way is by counting sheep




    Get it
     
    #10 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  11.  IM GONNA MAKE ANOTHER THREAD. EVEN BETTER THOUGH. MODS LOCK THIS THREAD OR DELETE IT. I DON'T CARE. AS TA LA VISTA BABY. 
     
    #11 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  12.  ur so funny. I like it. But yea. ^^^^
     
    #12 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  13. bye, I declare this thread for Zac
     
    #13 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  14. Okie dokie.
     
    #14 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  15. Why so serious? 
     
    #15 *Kernig (01), Jan 20, 2012
  16. Seriously?
     
    #16 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  17. ummmmmmmmmmmmm, that's getting annoying and I've just came back like 30 minutes...
     
    #17 TBB-Zacmac-, Jan 20, 2012
  18. I think it was good,

    "The hate in your eyes
    Is like venom into the black holes
    That we're once called eyes"

    Now, I'm going to unleash the grammar Nazi within me.

    It's "were", not "we're".
    But I'm sure that was just a typo

    The only other thing I found a little off was that you used eyes to describe the hate in their eyes.
    I dunno, it just seems to cut off the flow, and reduce the poems impact.

    Otherwise, great job :3
     
    #18 NinzSizzle, Jan 20, 2012
  19. THX  I know it was a typo. And ok.
     
    #19 *TERROR-MrsHeartz- (01), Jan 20, 2012
  20. First, what is GUD?
     
    #20 __BLU__, Jan 20, 2012
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