She lifted her head from her soaked pillow. She tried to blink them back, but the tears just kept on coming. She didn't even understand why she was crying so much. She hadn't even known her. She ran away, left them, not even think about the three year old daughter she had left behind. But now, learning that she'd never have the hope of finding her, Jenni was hurting more than she ever thought she could. She turned around on the bed and stared at the cracked ceiling of her dorm room instead. The pale yellow plaster above her reminded her of all the times she had spent feeling so alone in the world. Boarding school, a social services house, and now college. It didn't help that the only thing she had to look forward to was finding her mother. But her mother was dead now. So she had nothing to look forward to. She felt tears well up in her shining green eyes once more. Alone. It was such an apt word. She actually didn't have anyone. A single dorm, no family, no authorities to look after her anymore. She had always hated the word lonely - people could be lonely and surrounded by people who loved them - it just didn't seem fair. She didn't even have a second name. Everyone called her Jenni Porshotti because that was the name that the authorities had given her. Her mother had left her nothing but a snow and rain filled basket and blanket. She had been seriously ill because of this. But she was over it now thankfully. She pulled herself form the bed, having to force herself over to the mirror to check tear damage. She remembered how Dolly Patterson, her old social worker, had commented on how stunning her mother and father must have been. But Jenni didn't really care about her blonde hair which was naturally streaked with light brown, or her large, cat shaped blue green eyes. She would give the looks so many girls were envious of for just one person that loved her. With her fingers, she fluffed the straight stands of messed up hair into place. Quickly, she applied some mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss and blusher until it wasn't so evident she had spent the last two days crying and doing nothing else. After having grieved nonstop for forty eight hours, she was hungry. And thirsty. She would get something from the vending machines down at the quad. The quad was where the whole of the dorms came together to chat, chill out, study, eat or just generally lounge about. Meetings were held there, and friends got together to dance or play their music or jam. Whatever. See, the college that Jenni went to was the Antoinette College of Performing Arts. Jenni did at least one class on every subject. She was what was known as a 'gifted child', but her favorite thing to do was just sit on her bed, strum on her guitar and sing the words of a song she'd improvise right there and then. She pushed her way out of her room and made her way down the hallway. This was where all the single dorms were situated. Jenni had chosen to live alone because that was what she was used to. And other girls were wary of her. She didn't even want to think about sharing with a guy. She made her way down to the ground floor, where all the practicing halls and studios were. The entrance to the actual collage was in another building. She enjoyed walking down the halls and glancing into the dance studios where someone or the other was practicing their toe pointing or six steps. She especially loved listening to the music the orchestra or the latest decks were making. But her favorite was watching people in individual studios. She couldn't hear them - they were sound proofed - but she could peek at them and enjoyed seeing people getting lost in their music. It was beautiful. She made her way down the last flight of stairs to the cellar, where the quad was. At first, she had thought this unusual, but with a little research she found that a lot of colleges had the same idea. She made her way to the vending machines. The place was silent. This was weird. There was always someone singing or playing music or dancing or reading their lines out loud. She bought a packet of Thai sweet chilli Sensations and opened them up, munching on the wonderful chips as she wandered to the notice board. Ah - there it was - there was a big last minute talent contest in the theater. That explained the silence. In a way, Jenni liked it. It was safe, comfortable quiet - there was the hum of the vending machines and the faint sound of the contest drifted down from upstairs, reminding her that there were people around. Then she heard it. It was really faint, but she could hear it a bit. It was the sound of a guitar. It was strumming softly, in a tune she had never heard before. The player was really good. REALLY good. The sound of the expert music in a soft, taunting melody that made her want to either follow it or go to sleep. Sleep would be good, since she had none for the past few days. But she decided to follow it. Collapsing in the middle of the hallway would be a bit dramatic. Then a voice began to sing. A strong, haunting, male voice. The sound of it sent shivers down Jenni's spine. She followed it because of the pure beauty of it. Walking to the far end of the quad, she discovered a large room she had never seen before. The doors were opened wide and there was a boy there, in the middle of the room, sat on a stool. He was wearing an old leather jacket and dark jeans. His hair was straight and dark and all mussed up, bad boy style. She couldn't see his eyes - they were on his guitar, but he had a little flashing diamond in his ear. "Just being a rich boy Just being a rock star It ain't the life till you get it right Just wanting all posh toys And dreaming of goin' far You wanna look for the light... Just being..." He sang- his voice strong and rock-star like, yet as soft and meaningful as any country or soul singer. Jenni leaned her head against the wall outside the room and smiled easily, her heart finally lightening. The guy seemed vaguely familiar but Jenni couldn't quiet place him - she didn't know or see that many guys. "If you're looking for the guy You think you see in your dreams Nothing is as it seems Look for the heart in me..." He carried on, unaware of Jenni's presence. She was fine with that. Sure, he was the cutest thing she had seen on this earth but she was a nobody. He would be eaten alive by the A-list crowd later. Why wasn't he in the talent contest? He could easily win. By a million miles. She heard the guitar strumming come to a slow stop. A frustrated sigh and groan, exactly like what she did when she dried up as she was signing. She heard moving around then the opening bars to a very familiar song. "We're the best of friends And we share our secrets She knows everything That is on my mind Lately something's changed As I lie awake in my bed A voice inside my head Softly says..." His voice was throbbing with sincerity, his words even cracking a little near the end. Jenni could feel his pain. She bit back tears. This had always been her all time favorite song, and he was singing it beautifully. Almost as good as Jesse himself. Almost. "Why don't you kiss her...?" Jenni tried to stop herself, but knew she would eventually give in to her love of music. His voice was so great; she had to see if they fitted. "Why don't you tell her? Why don't you let her see? The feelings that you hide?" She carried on. Her strong, sweet voice lifted and blended perfectly with his. She seemed to know when he was going to take a breath, when he was going to change tone, tempo or beat. It helped that this was her favorite song. As she expected, when she started to sing, his voice faltered and the music stopped momentarily. But apparently he had heard the perfect harmony as well, and carried on. "'Cause she'll never know If you never show The way you feel inside..." You couldn't call many things perfect but the word was definitely apt for their blended sound. It sent shivers down Jenni's spine. She heard shuffling, the sound of the guy getting up, setting down his guitar. He began to walk, and she counted his footsteps in her mind as she tiptoed away. She wasn't about to stay and show him the blonde idiot that had blown her silence. She cursed herself mentally. Who did she think she is? Some heroin in a cheesy movie where she sings, he sings, they both sing together, and then fall in love, resulting in a happy ending? Only in Disney.
With her fingers, she fluffed the straight stands of messed up hair into place. Quickly, she applied some mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss and blusher until it wasn't so evident she had spent the last two days crying and doing nothing else. After having grieved nonstop for forty eight hours, she was hungry. And thirsty. She would get something from the vending machines down at the quad.
She pulled herself form the bed, having to force herself over to the mirror to check tear damage. She remembered how Dolly Patterson, her old social worker, had commented on how stunning her mother and father must have been. But Jenni didn't really care about her blonde hair which was naturally streaked with light brown, or her large, cat shaped blue green eyes. She would give the looks so many girls were envious of for just one person that loved her.