How to become the best version of yourself.

Simple Life hack.

Create a good feedback loop for yourself.

Ask everyone around you three things.

1) what am I doing right?

2) what am I doing wrong?

3) what would you do if you were me?

Three kinds of people can be there in the feedback loop.

1) Haters {ignore them}

2) Innocent critics {People with good intentions but bad advice, usually family and loved ones fall in this category}

3) Constructive critics

Note down all the points and think thoroughly about everything. Don't disrespect people who are giving wrong advice according to your research as someone who's giving wrong advice tonight says something sensible tomorrow.

 

You ignored the bottom part of the post, the three kind of people who might give your feedback.

Somehow, from the looks of it, everyone around you falls in the first category.

There can be two things now, either all those people were online trolls and you were looking at the opinion of wrong people or there's a bigger problem at hand.

The other reason could be that everyone around you was toxic, because who in their right mind will tell someone to kills themselves in real life.

If this still holds true for you, before focusing on a feedback loop, you need to create a circle where people genuinely value you.

 

You can stop giving fucks about other people's opinions and still take constructive criticism from others.

If one assumes that they're the smartest tool in the shed and no one can help them improve, that's possibly the dumbest thing to do in life because that person in ignoring whatever room is there for improvement.

Everyone is good at different things and different people will actually see genuine faults you have.

There will always be people who just hate you and won't add anything productive to the conversation and you can always just ignore their whole existence.

*Just like I am ignoring this stupid bitch named buwbuw *

 

Look at my account, I followed that advice years ago. I only visit these forums like I visit reddit, once every few months.

 

Hi hi Jopo love❤️

Yes, they are opinions but there can be something really good in those opinions.


I'll give you an example:

When I used to do public speaking at college, I was really good at it.
One day a classmate came to me and said, "Dude, you move your head so much while talking, it's distracting."

Another day, another person pointed out that I move my hands randomly while saying stuff.

I could treat both of them as haters back then and just live happily saying, " What do they know about public speaking, it's not like they have done anything significant so far!"

Yeah, could be a great way to live, but I'd have never improved. Instead I stopped moving my head a lot and only did it on purpose. I stopped randomly moving hands and started doing proper gestures that helped in visually explaining the point I am trying to make.


I agree, there are lot of people who have bad opinions and who hate you.

I also agree that there are people like family who have good intentions but give very bad advice sometimes and have garbage opinions.


But among all these, there are genuine criticism and if we start recognising those without letting our ego come into the way, we could become way better than we are currently.

 

Okay, your way of looking at other people's opinion is very different to mine.

I guess this is a fault at my end as I assumed that other people also think fo criticism and opinions like I do, but I am wrong.

You're thinking that taking criticism and improving or changing yourself is something people do to make other people happy and you can't possibly make everyone happy.

And that's a good way to look at things.
Yes, you can't make everyone happy.

And I don't care about making anyone happy. That's besides the point. Everything I do though is based upon a skill. And there is always some genuine criticism that helps me in refining that skill.

So, when I say you need to take feedback to improve yourself, it implies that you need to take constructive criticism to improve yourself for yourself by yourself.

If you can become a better public speaker or parent, it helps you! You are not doing it so that your children think you're a better parent, you become a better parent because you want to.


If my wife tells me that I am not spending enough time with her, I can't go and say that I don't give a fuck about her opinion. Maybe, I don't and maybe I don't care about what she thinks. But I should atleast hear her out and see if I can improve myself as a partner for making the relationship better.

You improve yourself when you notice that there is a room for improvement, you don't improve yourself just to improve other people's opinion of you. Because that would be a very shallow way to live life.


I will ask you if my Taco tastes good because I want to make better Tacos. Why would I give a damn if you think I am grabage at making Tacos.

But ofcourse, saying that Tacos were garbage or they weren't salty enough can be ignored if one person says that. If everyone says that, maybe there's some fault in my cooking.

There's a fine line between hate and criticism.

There's also a fine line between not caring about what others think and letting ego get in the way of our personal growth.