Today.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by NurseBecky, May 10, 2020.

  1. Allow me to share.

    My child LOVES blankets. However she is stil to young to sleep alone with a blanket, it’s dangerous, suffocation risks and all, it is what it is. Since we have a California king there’s more than enough room for her to sleep with us, so I let her sleep next to me so she can share my blanket, she’s stays safe, she’s happy, everyone’s happy.
    Until this morning, when I wake to find that she has peed through her diaper and onto the sheets 🙃
    After cleaning up that mess I decide to enjoy my coffee outside on the porch. So I pick up the hoodie I left in the dining room after breaking down boxes to recycle in the garage yesterday. I put it on, grab my coffee, but decide to use the bathroom before going outside. While sitting upon the toilet a GIANT. BROWN. SPIDER. Crawls out of my hoodie pocket. So naturally I scream as if a serial killer has just emerged from the bathroom closet, and proceed to tear off all of my clothes in a panic and run from the bathroom. The next 10 minutes was spent standing naked in the hallway while the man searched the bathroom on his hands and knees for the hoodie spider.
    ✌🏼Happy fuckin moms day y’all
     
    Maddi_Matsu and Oopsgottablast like this.
  2. Happy Mother’s Day 😂

    I would’ve just about died if that happened. Because I honestly cry just looking at spiders from a distance.
     
    Maddi_Matsu likes this.
  3. Happy Mother's Day to all the MILFs
     
  4. Not to rain on your parade but it's really dangerous to sleep with your child next to you. I know a lady who rolled over in her sleep and suffocated her baby like that. Stay safe and happy mother's day 💕
     
    LetsGoBrandon and Muschi like this.
  5. Test tube baby?
     
  6. [​IMG]
     
    WhoTfIsWesday, Buwbuw and Muschi like this.
  7. Humans swallow an average of eight spiders each year while sleeping! The average person swallows 52 spiders over the course of a lifetime!
     
  8. "average person eats 3 8 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 25,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

    throwback to this copypasta meme lol
     
    Kefo likes this.
  9. Happy Mother's Day!
    🙈I know someone this happened to too.
     
    WhoTfIsWesday likes this.
  10. That’s not true at all 😫
     
  11. We all know one person that rolled over on her baby while in bed ....and you don’t actually know that person u wer just told about it orrrr read it on the net
     
  12. Mad troll!!
     
    vanished likes this.
  13. Ur not true at all
     
    Muschi likes this.
  14. Nope, I know her. Wish I didn't know her, she's a piece of shīt that's ruining my best friends life. But sadly, I know her.
     
    Muschi and WhoTfIsWesday like this.
  15. It happened to my friend's aunt, who I've met, and after she suffocated her baby she went batshit insane because that's something you never get over
     
    Muschi, Maddi_Matsu and LetsGoBrandon like this.
  16. Yeah the girl I know went insane and started doing tons of heroin. Now my best friend is dating her and trying to be captain save a høe.

    I hate her so much. She's dragging my friend down but it's happening slowly overtime so my friend fails to see it happening.

    I need to stage an intervention.
     
    WhoTfIsWesday and Muschi like this.
  17. 1 chibi says he's actually actively enabling her 🤦‍♀️
     
    WhoTfIsWesday likes this.
  18. This is gonna be hard to believe but it's she, my bestie is a lesbian.

    And sorta, not really, kinda. The dumb bïtch has been "clean" for 2 years. But...ugh it's a whole novel of drama.
     
    WhoTfIsWesday likes this.
  19. Not to like talk down my own community but it's rough for lesbians in terms of finding someone which may be why it's hard for her to break it off. Les relationships move waaay too fast. Not that that's an excuse
     
    Manic, Muschi and LetsGoBrandon like this.
  20. Yessssssssssssss

    They moved in together after a week! It's a freaking train wreck!
     
    WhoTfIsWesday likes this.