i know this would sound so cliche and unimportant to others but i really need a little understanding or motivation and just need someone to listen so thank you. i have been suffering with depression for years and i couldn't seem to get away with it. i dont want to look for any medical help anymore or talk to someone whenever i need to release some of this negative thoughts and emotions because it feels like im troubling them or just wasting my energy and time cause they wont understand me. i dont feel beautiful, capable or needed. for me, This body is just a soulless shell that moves. if you're gonna ask me what my dream is.. My dream is to live my life with nothing but a joyful soul and a genuine smile to show the world. Where you wont have to worry about the colors fading cause even if its gray, you'll know that the colors will go back again and make you smile. i am drained and right now i just dont know what to do. life is no longer worth living but surviving so that you wont have to hurt the people that you love. so if you know someone who suffers the same. Smile at them, hug them tight, give them kisses, buy them ice cream or fries cause sometimes what we need is a little bit of understanding and not be a burden. Thank You. and sorry for my grammar.
If you need somewhere to talk but you get anxiety about ppls reactions or you don't like medical treatment, journaling can be helpful. It's also nice to look back on and see how much you've changed over time or just what the world was like thru your eyes back then
I like to think that depression is part internal (your neurology and all that) and external (social). It is hard to improve the internal stuff. Meditation, forced smiles, listening to comedy, prescription drugs, and probs some other things can help for that. The other half is social. You could be missing a community that you feel you genuinely connect with, might not have a good outlook and purpose, might not have positive aspects about yourself promoted and celebrated, or a whole lot of other things. Trying to influence and improve any of these things may help you improve your emotional state but remember that depression can be beaten, it is all in the head, and that it skews how you see things. Wish you luck.
I think it is really lovely that, in spite of the fact that you are in pain, you are taking a moment to bring light to the potential pain of others as well and encouraging people to reach out to those who might be suffering.
You know what helped me overcome my suicidal ideation? Find little things to "live for". Often times you hear about how family and friends would miss you, which is true... But live for your favorite food. Live for the feeling off a nice, warm shower. Live for the cold side of your pillow. Live for the future pets you'll adopt. Live for seeing the beautiful sunset. Live for the smell of cookies baking in the oven. Live for the feeling of the wind on a hot day. Live for the feeling of grass on your bare feet. Live for a nice cold glass of water at 2am. Live to see what hunt ATA releases next. Live for your favorite T-shirt. Et cetera.